Life in the Pink

Friday, May 31, 2002

Hijinks
It's the morning of graduation. We're about to leave for Tappan Square, where we'll sit in the hot sun for three hours. Em is standing in my living room, snorting cocaine off of a spoon. I'm busy checking to see it's obvious I just snorted three lines of Adderall.
I come out of the bathroom and say, "Do I have powder on my - Hi, Mom and Dad!"
I sniff a lot while opening my graduation present, and Em hides the coke behind the blender.

5:41 PM Comments

Packing Mistakes I Suggest You Don't Make
Pack all your socks and underwear in things you're shipping UPS ground.
I did this two days before I left for home, and well, it's been a breezy couple of days.
5:37 PM Comments

Home, Sweet Home
Well, I'm back at my parents' house, land of milk and honey. Or at least land of television and free food.
So far it's been good, although my parents keep saying things like, "So, you're going to start working for your dad on Monday, right?" and, "When are you going to get a job?"
5:36 PM Comments

Tuesday, May 28, 2002

What Am I Doing Today?
Why, I'm packing up all my posessions! It's fun, fun, fun in Cynthia land!
I may not blog for a couple of days, depending on what my computer situation is.
3:03 PM Comments

Monday, May 27, 2002

Oh, Yeah
I graduated today. Which means I'm now officially unemployed. (And as of Thursday, I'll be unemployed and homeless! Whoop whoop!)
I wore a big foofy black skirt and shiny strapless top, and I got super sun-burned because I sat out in the hot sun for three hours with no sun screen on.
Also, Em was all coked up for graduation, so she kept running around going "I can't feel my teeth! This is great!" I'm not sure how she managed to sit still for three hours. I seriously thought I was going to die of heat exhaustion. (Three hours sleep + hangover + no food + having to stand on still sore ankle + hot, hot sun = VERY BAD)
Then my parents took lots of pictures of us, which was fun because I got to pretend I was a rockstar, instead of an unemployed college graduate.
4:34 PM Comments

Sad
One of the many, many people who was staying here appears to have broken my Wacom tablet pen. So now I can't click on things with it. It appears that just the little sensor thing in the tip is broken, so I can still use it to move my mouse around, and I can click with the buttons on the side, but I can't click by pressing down. Which means, basically, that I can't use it anymore.
I'm really sad. I really liked my Wacom pen. Does anyone know how I can fix it? Can I just buy a pen, or do I have to buy a whole new tablet? I want my mouse pen back!!!
4:05 PM Comments

Sunday, May 26, 2002

Parents
My family (mom, dad, and little brother) are in town for graduation. So far we've managed to talk about The Good Ship Fisting in front of my parents and smoke weed with my brother (and get him drunk).
So I arrange to meet my parents at one at my house this afternoon. I've been sleeping at the girl's house, because there are extra people staying at my house and that way someone can sleep in my bed. So at eleven this morning, I'm lying in bed, and snuggly warm and naked next to my snuggly warm naked girlfriend, when the girl's housemate knocks on the door and says, "Cyn, your parents are here."
And then they made fun of me because I was all groggy and cranky.
1:23 PM Comments

Friday, May 24, 2002

Wheee!
I can walk! Walk walk walk!
And no more physical therapy!
I am healed! YAY! YAY YAY YAY YAY!
4:26 PM Comments

I'm Going To the Doctor in Fifteen Minutes
Wish me luck!
(I will walk across the stage at graduation unassisted, even if it means I can feel the bones in my ankle grinding together with every step, goddammit.)
10:18 AM Comments

Thursday, May 23, 2002

True Confessions
You know that Velvet Underground song, Waiting for the Man? The one that's about waiting for a drug dealer?
Well, I used to think that what they were singing was "waiting for my man," and that it was about an inter-racial gay love affair, rather than drugs.
The thing is, ever since I found out the truth, that song has kind of lost something for me. I just liked it better the other way.
9:10 PM Comments

We Like To Chew
I found this song on a CD at the radio station last night. It's called Chew, and it's by The Gerbil Liberation Front, and it's awesome.
3:46 PM Comments

Whoop!
Melinda called into my radio show, and you didn't, cause you suck and she rules.
We're on the radio until we pass out.
2:07 AM Comments

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

Conversation with the Girl, II
Me: So do you want to be on the radio with us?
Girl:Yeah, sure. Come by when you're about to go, I'll be dressed and ready.
Me: Yeah, you're going to have to put clothes on.
Girl: That's the hardest part.
9:27 PM Comments

My House, Media Center
My friend John is staying at my house for the week, because he got kicked out of the dorms. He's also putting out a campus magazine.
The other day I walked into my room to find he had set up his laptop, was working on it, checking his email on one of my computers, talking on his cellphone, and playing bad techno all at the same time.
The magazine went to the printers this morning, so our house was full of editing and drunkeness last night.
9:19 PM Comments

Yet Again
Emily, Grace and I will be on the radio from 10-12 again tonight. You should give us a listen, and you can can call us at 440 775 8139.
Playlists from last night: here, here and here.
9:13 PM Comments

Tuesday, May 21, 2002

Media Whores
Emily and I will be on the radio again today, from 10 to 12 EST. You can listen to us on the webcast here.
You can also read our playlist from last time here and here. As you can tell from our comments, we got sucessively drunker as the night wore on.
7:29 PM Comments

Sick Girl
The girl is sick. I went over to her house at two in the morning last night, expecting her to be asleep, and found her naked on her couch, watching Buffie reruns.
So I spent all night in bed with a sick person who was doing all the things sick people who can't sleep do, like tossing and turning and whimpering and trying to have sex with you at six in the morning. She finally got out of bed to go to the doctors at eight this morning, and I got two hours of sleep while she was gone, and then she came back and announced that she had bronchitis. (Poor sick girl!) But then of course, she had to spend all day in bed, per doctors orders, while I had to go to physical therapy and then go grade computer science labs and do all the other things that non-sick people have to do. Only usually non-sick people actually get to sleep.
7:05 PM Comments

Internet Celebrity Pays Off
The lovely Jason of Five foot 6 sent me the Bettie Page action figure of my dreams as a graduation present. Thanks, Jason! You rock!
I think everyone should keep in mind that studies have shown that I am 87% more witty and charming when plied with gifts. Do it for the good of us all, folks.
6:59 PM Comments

Monday, May 20, 2002

Girly Girl
I got the most fun new make-up product in the world at Super K yesterday. It's Revlon LipGlide Color Gloss, and it comes in a tube, and you click it up and little beads of it come through the top part (like when you click up gel deoderant) and then you smear it on your lips. The best part is that the applicator part is fuzzy. It's so weird and great! Also, it's all liquid, like a gloss, only it's actually got lots of color and isn't shiny and has that fun make-up smell, but it isn't all chunky. I got it in Ruby Slippers, and it's the perfect bright red but not orangey. I've been wearing it all day, and I totally never wear lipstick.
8:03 PM Comments

Sunday, May 19, 2002

Please Don't Judge Me
I was in the little girl's department of Super K, and I was trying on this Powerpuff Girls backpack, and suddenly I was filled with raver spirit and now I own a pink bedazzled "rockstar" visor.
I kind of really, really like it. I can't really explain why. Other than it being pink and bedazzled and saying rockstar.
My regression into teenybopperhood is now complete.
10:00 PM Comments

All Set!
Comment numbers work again! Woot woot!
5:59 PM Comments

New Home
Hey, welcome to the new digs. I'm not quite done unpacking yet, so the comment numbers don't work, but it's tres exciting, yes?
Update your bookmarks, kids!
5:11 PM Comments

Saturday, May 18, 2002

Ass Pirates Take Over WOBC
Em, the girl and I are all going to be on the college radio station from 10-12 EST tonight. You can give us a listen at WOBC.org.
4:56 PM Comments

Friday, May 17, 2002

Conversation with the Girl
Girl: I'm sick.
Me: You should go to student health.
Girl: What would they do?
Me: They'd tell you if you had strep throat or mono.
Girl: But if I do, I've already given them to you, and I don't plan on giving them to anyone else, so why bother?
Me: Great.
8:19 PM Comments

All Done
I'm done with college. All I have to say is: Eeeeek! There's so much stuff I was going to do that I didn't. I haven't learned to make a bong out of an apple, or been a radio DJ, or run an exco, or had sex in the library.
I need to do college again. I would be so good at it now that I've had all this practice.
Four more years! Four more years!
8:17 PM Comments

Arrrgh
I am currently living in exam world and not eating or sleeping and losing my ability to speak English. Will be back soon. Hopefully.
5:33 PM Comments

Wednesday, May 15, 2002

Things Accomplished Today
Kicked ass on Classics final.
Did lots and lots and lots of work on LitP move/redesign.
Did laundry. (Was out of undies/socks. Also, had been wearing same pants for last week.)
Answered one question on Cryptology final.
Went to meet friends for pizza.
Did not find job. Or look for job. Or pack many, many posessions.
Priorities: In order!
10:50 PM Comments

Exciting News!
Life in the Pink is going to be moving! Not today, not tomorrow, but some time after finals.
My new home will be PinkHairedGirl.Com. It redirects here, so you can start updating your links and bookmarks today!
There's going to be a major site redesign and lots of other good stuff! Whoop whoop!
11:26 AM Comments

Lessons Learned from Jerry Springer Shows
(watched at physical therapy)
Apparently, when getting into a fight with someone, usually over whether someone is your man or their man, if you are female the appropriate thing to do is to rip off your clothes, say something along the lines of "You don't got tits like this, bitch," and run around in the audience, giving people high fives.
I had no idea. I mean, I don't get into many fights over men, but still. Apparently my fight or flight response should be a "fight, flight, or take off your clothes and run around" response.
Also, apparently if you're bisexual it means you get to date men and women at the same time! Here I am, thinking the normal relationship standards apply to me, when actually that's just wrong. I'm off to get a good deep dicking now. If the girl complains, I'll just have Jerry explain things to her.
11:24 AM Comments

Tuesday, May 14, 2002

I Am the Most Boring Person In the World
I just spent a half hour picking apart something I crocheted wrong, because I want to use the yarn for a hat I'm making.
Not using drugs really does make you less cool.
9:55 PM Comments

Dream
I had a dream last night that I could walk again. Also, that the college gave me a check for a very large sum of money.
Then I woke up and my alarm hadn't gone off and I was afraid that I had missed physical therapy, but fortunately it turned out my appointment was an hour later than I thought.
8:18 PM Comments

Craving
I want marzipan.
12:39 AM Comments

Monday, May 13, 2002

Things Gone Missing
Study sheet for my classics final.
My driver's license.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
9:51 PM Comments

Question
If I get a Hello Kitty tattoo, will I regret it when I'm eighty?
And where should I put it?
1:50 PM Comments

Sunday, May 12, 2002

The Take
Last night, our pirate party earned us:
One hundred and seven dollars (Not quite what we spent on booze)
A plate of cookies.
A cake.
Conquest, starring Jenna Jameson.
One hundred sixty eight naked photos of five different people.

And the band cleaned up for us!
4:13 PM Comments

Saturday, May 11, 2002

My Senior Reading Is Tomorrow

And I'm plastering campus with these posters.
Yes, my senior reading is called Everyone Poops and Then Kills Themselves. You see, the girl I'm reading with is obsessed with the Everyone Poops children's book, and we're both reading stories involving suicidal people. Also, we're both bad people.
3:55 PM Comments

Well, Then
A guy from my domain name host place thingy called yesterday . . . and left a very flirty message on my machine.
Buy AssPiracy.Com and suddenly everyone thinks you're easy.
2:34 PM Comments

Holy Fucking Shit
I went to my last class at Oberlin today.
Holy fucking mother of god.
I'm fucking graduating.
3:52 AM Comments

Friday, May 10, 2002

Conversation with my Upstairs Neighbor
(Neighbor has been locked out of his house and is stuck in his running outfit, so we are dressing him)
Me:You need a belt or something?
Him: Yeah. Or, you know, some twine.
Me: Actually, we have a lot of rope for our Pirate Party.
Him: For decoration?
Me: You can tell yourself that if you want.
10:03 AM Comments

Thursday, May 09, 2002

Expressions Emily and I Feel Everyone Should Use More
Bitch, I'm not a talent scout.
Hot time in the old town tonight.
Ass-over-teakettle.
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger (with fleas).
There's a frigate I'd like to board.

7:17 PM Comments

Lesbolicious: Cyn's Dyke Mix
I was able to make this CD because I ~~am dating a lesbian indie rock DJ~~ am super-hip and down with the kids. So around half the songs came ~~from the girl~~ from super-hip sources you will never find.
The mix:
Jill Sobule - I kissed a girl
I discovered this song in high school, and would listen to it approximately twenty times a day. I still think it's a cool (if slightly cheesy) song.
The Magnetic Fields - Acoustic Guitar
In the world of the Magnetic Fields, everyone is bisexual.
Slant 6 - Ladybug Superfly.
So cute! So cute, this song!
Dar Williams - Iowa
I just like to pretend that this song is about lesbians.
Belle and Sebastian - She's Losing It
Has anyone else noticed that Belle and Sebastian are getting less and less homoerotic as time goes on?
Weezer - Pink Triangle
"Everyone's a little queer, why can't you be a little straight?"
PJ Harvey - Man-Size Sextet
I think PJ Harvey could kick anyone's ass.
Cunts With Attitude - Only Straight Girls Wear Dresses
You just have to hear this song. It's excellent.
God is My Co-pilot - Rubber or Leather
"You can knock all night on my back door, but there's only two things that I'll open it for. Rubber, or Leather!"
Chicks on Speed - Kaltes Klares Wasser
That's Cold Clear Water in German, you know.
Third Sex - Un Deux Trois Cat
They meow! There is meowing, in this song! Excellent.
Le Tigre - Dyke March 2001
Samples from the actual Dyke March. I'm not sure how I feel about this song.
The Mr. T Experience - God Bless America.
This one is a joke. The lyrics go "Why don't you shave your legs? 'Cause a little hair can make a lot of difference." (Please don't hit me. I don't shave my legs either! I just think it's funny.)
Sleater-Kinney - A Real Man
Another song I've liked since high school. I'm going to marry Corin Tucker one day.
Bikini Kill - Rebel Girl
Classic dyke punk.
The Butchies - Sex (I'm a lesbian)
This song is quite good, but I really put it on for the title.
Bikini Kill - I like fucking
Again, with the title.
Tracy and the Plastics - (we met the) Queerion
Crazy synthesizer craziness.
The Need - 2-story Girl
The Need have a pirate thing going on with their CD cover. It's rocking.
Third Sex - At least I got some cool clothes
This song is only marginally dykey, but very cool.
Sleater-Kinney - One Song for You
Again, marginally dykey, but good.

10:07 AM Comments

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

Why Don't I Own This?
There are Bettie Page action figures out there, and I don't own one! What's up with that?
I totally need a sugar daddy/mama.
7:01 PM Comments

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

Necessity Is the Mother of Invention
So I'm now the proud owner of AssPiracy.com. (And you can email me at cyn@asspiracy.com)It just points back to here at the moment, but Phil and I have plans to make up for the astonishing lack of pirate porn on the web.
I'm going to be a pornographer after I graduate.
The sad part is, I'm still going to have to get a real job.
So, can I make you a star?
10:40 PM Comments

Monday, May 06, 2002

Preaching
Scene: Phil and I are walking to lunch, going by Tappan Square. A preacher, Brother Jed, is standing in the square and ranting about how homosexuality is bad to anyone who will listen. It's a rather gloomy day, so the only people listening are a shirtless guy and a girl in a patchwork skirt.
Brother Jed (pointing at shirtless guy): Watch out, he's a queer!
Phil: It's okay, so am I.
Shirtless guy: Wanna make-out?
Phil: Sure.
(Phil and Shirtless guy kiss)
Me: Jesus christ, can't we go to lunch without you stopping to hook up with someone?
Brother Jed: You know the homosexuals and their voracious sexual appetites! They're always horny!
I wonder if Brother Jed realizes that he's actually encouraging people to "sin." Of course, he does seem to have an unnatural obsession with male homosexuality. Every time I saw him interact with a student, he assumed the boys were gay and the girls were straight.
8:58 PM Comments

Advice
Does anyone have web hosting service recommendations? I'm going to need a new host for LitP very, very shortly.
Quality is good, but cheap is better.
12:12 AM Comments

Sunday, May 05, 2002

God
The girl had a Joan of Arc themed stripping party on Saturday. I was dressed as god, which did not involve me stripping, but did involve me standing around while seven girls dressed like Joan of Arc stripped. (Including the girl and Em.)
So I asked myself, "What Would Jesus Wear?" and ended up in jeans, a wife beater (It was the only white shirt I could find in a hurry, and I think they're sexy on girls. Plus god in a wife beater = funny.), a ton of body glitter (Because god is shiny.), a tiara, and angel wings.
So after the stripping was over, Em, the girl and I all went to the Feve bar with one of our friends.
Note to middle-aged men in bars: I understand that upon seeing a young, nubile thing such as myself, you may start searching for the appropriate conversational gambit. However, it is not good form to come up to me and say "So, I noticed you have red hair and angel wings. What's up with that?" There are many reasons this will not endear you to me, including the following:
My hair is pink, not red.
The hair and the wings are not related to each other at all, and your linking them together will confuse me.
I do not take kindly to being asked to justify my appearance to strangers. I did come up to you and say, "So, I noticed you have a child molester mustache. What's up with that?"

After the bar, we went to another party. The girl was tired, so I let her sit in my lap as I drove my electric wheelchair. So when we arrived at the party, our fellow party-goers saw a girl with a cross on her head, wearing a helmet and carrying a sword (Em), walking next to two girls in an electric wheelchair, one of whom was also wearing a helmet (the girl), and the other dressed in a tiara and wings.
11:38 PM Comments

Friday, May 03, 2002

Pirate Porn, Con't
Scarlet Letters hooks me up, as usual. Check out hot lesbian pirate porn.
Why is there no gay pirate porn to be found? Butt Pirate.Com is Navy guys, not Pirates! It's blatent false advertising, and it makes me sad.
8:49 PM Comments

Thursday, May 02, 2002

It Does Exist!
Pirate porn, ladies and gentlemen:
Snatchbuckler
Captain Hooker and Peter Porn
Conquest
And my personal favorite:
What's the Lesbian Doing in my Pirate Movie?
Well, I know what I want for Christmas.
5:07 PM Comments

Pirate Booty
Emily and I have decided what we're going to do when we graduate. We're going to be pirates. Ass Pirates. We're going to build a big boat and call it the Good Ship Fisting, and sail the seven seas striking fear into the asses of men and women everywhere.
We've been telling everyone about it. We have kind of a routine worked out.
Em or Cyn: We've decided what we're going to do with our lives!
Cyn or Em: We're going to be pirates!
Cyn and Em in unison: Ass Pirates!!!
It's great. You kind of have to see it live to truly appreciate it.
I'm going to have an eye patch, and Em's going to have a hook hand. And we're going to have a parrot. We need to think of a name for the parrot, so if you know the names of any gay porn stars, you should tell us. Also, if you know where we can get gay pirate porn, hook us up.
We're looking for a good ass pirate crew, so if you're interested in joining us on the Good Ship Fisting, let us know!
1:34 PM Comments

Bleeeaaargh
I went to the Feve Bar last night, and was some how magically transported to a bizarre Cheers alterna-world, where everyone did, in fact, know my name, and ordering a pitcher of Long Island Iced Teas was a good idea.
We were celebrating the fact that I ~~gave up on~~ finished all my work, and also redyed my hair. The hair turned out very well, except that I managed to also dye my entire body. I now have one pink spot on my right eyebrow. I'd do my entire brows, only I'm out of dye, and I drink far too much to believe that having anything pink right next to my eyes is a good idea.
Remember kids: Never wear pink the day after you drink! It rhymes because it's true.
9:55 AM Comments

Wednesday, May 01, 2002

I'm Not Going To Lie To Ya
This site is the coolest.
At least if you're a big literature dork like me.
Although, I must say, they don't have nearly enough about Roland Barthes up there. And he's my favorite post-modernist! My favorite!
10:23 AM Comments

Rabbit, Rabbit
I actually remembered to do the "Rabbit, rabbit" thing! I always mean to, but this is the first time I've actually managed to do it.
Is it a coincidence that May, as well as being my first Rabbit Rabbit month, happens to be International Masturbation Month?
You're going to have to make that call.
10:16 AM Comments