Tirad

Lately, I can't spell. (Lately being the last six hours or so.) I find myself pondering simple words for long periods of time, trying to figure them out. Earlier today, I spent fifteen minutes trying to spell neither because for some reason I thought it had a g in it. (It doesn't, right?) I just tried to spell simple with two ms. In fact, I did that again when I retyped it.

I think it's because I haven't gotten more than seven hours of sleep a night in the last three days or so. That, or I've been suddenly struck down with dyslexia.

Oh Yeah, Baby At this

Oh Yeah, Baby
At this precise moment in time, neither of my ears is clogged, and my sinus headache is totally gone. Also, I can breathe through both nostrils.

I cannot even begin to describe the feeling of euphoria this is giving me.

Good Haircut Pictures!

Yesterday I put creme pomade in my hair and then got caught in the rain, and it actually looked really cute, or at least I was kind of drunk so I thought it looked really cute and so I took a bunch of pictures. Who knew that rain was the secret too good hairstyling?

Are you there, God? It's me, Cynthia.

Backside of my head, and also my tattoo.

Do you like my shirt? I cut it up myself!

Suggestable

My roommate is gone for the weekend.

I am currently taking suggestions for naughty things I should do while he is gone.

Checka Checka

I just saw the best show ever, y'all. The band's name is Juha, they're a Queer Palestinian Hip Hop from Hawai'i, and they are awesome.

Also, those boys are sexy as hell.

Heh

The events of this comic have totally never happened to me.

No archive link that I see, so comic may have be different tomorrow. That'll keep ya guessin'!

Stop with the Experimental Fiction, Already

It's not "challenging people's assumptions," it's not "pushing the envelope," it's not "risky," and most of all, it's not "good."

And yes, this includes you, Dave Eggers.

Want!

When I am rich, I shall have lots of Crazy Plastic Furniture.

Letters to Various Body Parts

Dear Headache,

You've been here for the last two days. I know it's nice to have guests and all, but don't you feel like it's time to move on? If I wanted someone to sneakily steal my skull and replace it with one that was two sizes too small, I would simply drink a lot of Carlos Rossi. But I haven't, so there is no excuse for this.

Fine, I'll eat something and drink less than five cups of coffee a day. Will that make you happy?

Go Away!
Cyn

Dear Lungs,

STOP WITH THE MUCUS, ALREADY! No more pleghm, please, I am all full up.

Cough couch hack,
Cyn

Dear Face,

I know that it's not spring just quite yet, but just the same, could you stop freaking falling off in big hunks already? I've been moisturizing, okay?

Dry and Patchy,
Cyn

Dear Weird Red Bump Under My Right Eye,

What the hell are you? You've been there for like, three weeks. You're not a zit. I promise I'll stop picking at you if you go away. I even put some Neosporin on you! Neosporin fixes everything!

You're a sign I have eye cancer, aren't you?

No, Really, What the Fuck Are You?
Cyn

Indie Dorkage

You may not be excited that there's a new Beulah record coming out, but I sure as hell am.

Still Sick!

I've had this horrible sinus headache all day, and I swear to god my head is going explode or my face is going to fall off or my skull is going to do something else drastic and italicized.

In other news, the following things are for suckers:

• Leaving one's apartment.
• Wearing pants.
• Being a productive citizen of the world.

Sick!

I know you're going, "Cyn, weren't you sick like, a week ago, or two weeks ago, or since time fucking began or something? Weren't you just blithly wandering around thinking about how you hadn't really gotten sick this winter, and then your roommate came home with some horrible disease he got from god knows where, and gave it to you, probably by licking all of your posessions or something, and then promptly got better and went out and frolicked all weekend while you were coughing and hacking and cursing god? How are you doing with that whole deal?"

Well, since you asked, I'm now at the stage in illness where I really don't feel that bad. I've been sleeping a lot, but that could just be laziness. I feel a bit feverish at times, but I'm not sure if I'm actually feverish or not. Mainly, it's just that my body seems to feel that it has to produce it's own weight in phelgm approximately every fifteen minutes. Seriously, why is it doing this? It's not like all this phelgm is going to do anything productive. It's not as though I'm going to save it and use it to build a health protecting igloo or something. What the hell is the point to all of this?

On the plus side, it's getting distinctly less green and chunky.

Music

Lately, I only really listen to five cds, and I listen to them over and over and over again.

This is what I listen to:
The Mountain Goats, Tallahassee
Silver Jews, American Water
Tom Waits, Rain Dogs
Gravy Train!!!!, Hello Doctor
Imperial Teen, On

I shudder to think what this says about me as a person. Besides, of course, that I am both obsessive and a pretentious indie fuck.

Haircut!

Haircut provided by the lovely and amazing Gwen, as usual. I think it looks better in real life than in these photos. I wasn't feeling very photogenic this morning.

Phil says I look very chic, and if Phil says it it must be true.

Anyway, this haircut is awesome. I have facial features again! When my hair gets too long it likes to do this thing where it's all big and crazy and my head is just kind of a mass of pink and I have no face. But now I have a face again, and my hair is all cute and little.

Also, I am not wearing pants in those photos.

YAY!

My website is back up!

My Kind

I am not the Cynthia with the Naughty Framed Mirror, but oh, how I wish I was.

I Want Candy

Where my peeps at?

Whee! Mending!

I'm going on a mending spree lately, trying to work my way through the huge pile of clothing that hangs out in the corner of my room. Much of this clothing has been to at least three different states with me.

The great thing about mending is that it's like getting new clothes, except without the part where you have to go shopping and pay for them and shit. The bad part about mending is that I now know what the inside of the lining of my thrift shop coats looks like. Man, was ignorance ever fucking bliss.

Girls Are Pretty

Hot Girls on Nerve!

I have some issues with Nerve's intro to the photos - especially this part:

"The world being what it is, it may impossible to shoot a lesbian couple and expect it not to be viewed in terms of the iconic straight-male-girl-on-girl fantasy. The thing about these girls is, they don't need anyone else. They're in their own world — and you don't have the interdimensional traveling skills to do anything about it. Maybe that's specifically a straight-man mindfuck, or maybe it goes out to all of us and our need for love and beauty, our sense that we're missing something."

How can you say it's impossible to take pictures of lesbians without it reflecting straight men? Are my snapshots of me and my ex-girlfriend making out "viewed in terms of the iconic straight-male-girl-on-girl fantasy"? No shit, they don't need anyone else. They're lesbian couples. How can it be a straight man mindfuck? It's not about straight men. It's about lesbians.

It's like when guys used to hit on me and my ex as a couple. We're a couple, not a two for one special. Why can't people deal with the fact that women can have sex without men? They can handle men having sex without women. You don't see straight chicks objectifying gay men. (Okay, with the noteable exception of all my former roommates.)

I read an article somewhere a long time ago that said that when it comes to people's sexuality, you're defined by whether or not you have sex with men. If a man has sex with men and women, he's gay. If a woman has sex with men and women, she's straight. And when you look at famous people who have had sex with both men and women, and what we consider their sexuality, it's true.

It's like the 70s feminist idea that heterosexual sex is oppressive, and all lesbian sex is empowering. I think that idea is unfair to straight people and lesbians. Maybe somewhere there are people who have sex and it's beautiful and special and they both come away from it feeling empowered and beautiful and more secure in their personhood or whatever, but that sounds pretty fucking boring to me. Who wants to have fluffy bunny empowering sex? I know for a fact that I can have girl on girl sex that's at least as dirty and kinky and screwed up as het sex, if not more.

And that's the way I like it.

This post is turning out really scattered, but I think the point I'm trying to make is that people are scared of girl sexuality. So they keep trying to put men in there, even when they obviously don't belong there.

I can't say I really blame them. If I was a straight boy and I knew what girl on girl sex was really like, I'd be terrified.

Computer Geek

I realize that none of you care, but if anyone out there is doing any Visual Basic .NET stuff, Dot Net 24-7 is an awesome website. I look stuff up there at work all the time, and I always find answers to my questions. And since I'm picking .NET up on the fly while doing semi-advanced programming stuff, half of my questions are like, "How does .NET do class import statements?" and half of them are like, "How can I import this billion row database really fast?"

Obsessed

I had a dream about Gravy Train!!!! last night.

(And yes, it was dirty.)

God Bless the Internet

I don't think I would ever pay my bills anything remotely close to on time if I couldn't go to their websites, press a couple of buttons and have money magically removed from my checking account.

Now, if only I could get money put into my checking account the same way . . .

Exactly

"Julia always told everyone everything, holding nothing back on the principle that however much one tells there will aways remain some ultimate mystery that cannot be imparted anyway, and thus some privacy cannot finally be betrayed."
- The Game, A.S. Byatt

Genetics

After a week of careful scientific observation, I have determined where I get my bad kid genes from.

It's totally my dad. You're such a trouble maker, daddy!

You Can't Bone My Mouth When My Mouth Is Bone Dry

I now own the Gravy Train!!!! full length.

Those of you who know me know what you'll be hearing for the next month.

Prodigal

My roommate has resurfaced. It turns out he was just having hot gay sex. With four people. For two days.

Oh lord, in your infinite wisdom, why didn't you make me a gay man?

Have You Seen This Boy?

My roommate is missing!

He went to a barbeque at 5 pm on Saturday, and I have not seen him since. I have also been unable to get him on his cell phone. I'm beginning to be a trifle concerned.

You best be having some damn good sex, Phil.

Sick!

sick sick death sick cough hack sick death sick phelgm sick sick sick

The Blogs of Cool Kids I Met At the Philly Blog Meet (and You Did Not, Because You Suck)

Heaven, Hell or Hoboken
No Loss For Words
Pandagon
With Karate I'll Kick Your Ass
Zogby Blog (Warning: fascist Republican political blog)

Also someone named John or possibly Josh whose URL I never got, or possibly got and then promptly forgot, and anyway he was nice and if he reads this then he should leave his URL in the comments.

The Phillyblog meetup was great fun, and many many thanks to Nicole for organizing it. I got to talk small liberal arts school stuff with kids from Swarthmore, and computer geek stuff with Rob from Heaven, Hell or Hoboken. (Oh, how I love being a big old dork! I swear to god, I can talk about computer science crap all night long and have a marvelous, marvelous time.)

I also argued politics with the Zogby blog folks. It's too bad I am crap at arguing politics. Sometimes I think I should be more politically aware, but I am a lot more aware than most people, and when I try to get informed I just get all depressed and upset because the mainstream media is lying to me. Honestly, I'm a vegetarian pacifist atheist lesbian, being absurdly liberal just kind of comes with the territory. I suck at picking up chicks now, can you imagine if I was a Republican? I would never get laid.

Crafty!

I made this bag out of an old skirt. As you can well imagine, the fabric was a little, um, over-powering as a skirt.

I am very proud of how bag-like it turned out. Especially since I didn't use a pattern or anything, and this is about my third project using my sewing machine. It turns out making button holes is very tricky! Also, bags are all three dimensional and stuff, making it even harder. But this actually turned out all cute and shit. I rock!

Conversation

Phil: Your parents are probably going, "Our daughter's so grown-up."
Me: That's because they don't know how often I run out of toilet paper.

Parentals

If I don't blog a lot for the next week, it's cause my parents are in town and between them and work, I am a crazy woman running all over.

I know, I didn't blog last week because my internet was down. I'm a bad, bad blogger. But these are circumstances beyond my control!

Anyway, if you come to the Philly blogger meet-up, I'll be super cute and charming and make it up to you.

Checka Checka!

Meghan's got a blog!

Be There, or Be A

Be There, or Be A Big Loser Dork
Philly Blog Meet-up. This Saturday, April 12th. 8 pm. Xando/Cosi coffee house, 325 Chestnut St. Look for the Pink Haired Girl.

I totally would have posted about this a long time ago, except for the part where I didn't have internet. So if this is short notice, blame fucking Comcast Cable.

Right On

This cartoon is great.

I Cannot Function Without the Internet

This is what Phil and I did for five days without the internet:

We sat around our living room, having one of the following conversations:

Roommate 1: We should do something.
Roommate 2: But what?
Roommate 1: I don't know.
Roommate 2: I wish we had internet.

Roommate 1: Do you know (random thing)?
Roommate 2: No. I bet you could look it up on the internet.
Roommate 1: I could if we had internet.
Roommate 2: I miss the internet.

It was a bit like Waiting for Godot, really.

Although Phil did spend a couple of evenings moving people's eyes around in Photoshop. Sometimes he removed their eyes entirely. Sometimes he replaced their eyes with other bits of their faces, like their noses or mouths.

Also, I read all 1079 pages of Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace.

If I ever meet David Foster Wallace, I plan to beat him severly around the head and shoulders. Possibly while saying something like, "HA HA HA! You're SO FUCKING CLEVER!" But I bet he gets that all time.

Back

I have internet in my very own home once more.

Miss Me?

My internet has been down since Wednesday, in case you've been wondering about the lack of blogging and all other online activity.

It should be back up on Tuesday, so I will talk to you then. Fortunately, nothing exciting has happened in my life, so you haven't missed anything.

In Other News

I have a personal ad. Feel free to mock me horribly.

Linky Linky Linky Love

Philo's got his own place, now. (And what a nice place it is.)

Sleater-Kinney, Rufus Wainwright, and Imperial Teen singing songs from Hedwig? Dude, get out of my head!

(Last link via sexy sexy Uffish)