Pillow Talk

I made this pillow today. Or rather, the case for this pillow. It's made out of this incredibly soft blue fake fur, is round, and has a zipper! It has already made friends with the red vinyl pillow it shares that section of our couch with.

I also went on a Krazy Krafting Kwest that involved going to a yarn store (where I got buttons), a fabric store, and an art supply store. Only the art supply store was pillow related, though.

I have come to the realization that pillows are really just stuffed toys for adults.

Too Bad About That Whole "Wacko" Thing

Has anyone else noticed that hare krishnas are hot?

Why Doesn't Anyone Tell Me These Things?

From a Washington Monthly article on dating:

"That's because there is currently only one broadly accepted rule of courtship: The Third Date is The Date (unless, of course, you're a glued-together-at-the-knees Rules girl.) If either party declines sex on the Third Date, it's a clear sign that the relationship is going nowhere. And if the Third Date culminates in sex, they're officially a couple--or at least, the guy's a real loser if he doesn't ask the girl out again afterwards. (Sex before the Third Date is a signal that a) you believe in love at first sight; b) you're a promiscuous floozy; or c) you think a, he thinks b.) "

This quote kind of makes my head explode for many, many reasons. Firstly, I totally didn't know about the Third Date thing. Secondly, since one does sex make one a couple? And thirdly, I am clearly a promiscuous floozy.

I think the best thing about lesbianism is that there aren't any fucking dating rules to follow. Well, okay, the second best thing about lesbianism . . .

133+ h4X0r

Checka checka! Life in the Pink is now all Moveable Type and Cascading Style Sheets goodness!

And yes, I did just spend Friday night sitting at home converting my blog to Moveable Type. Shut up, you.

Because My Computer Is About To Explode

Does anyone have any advise on where to get a semi-reasonably priced (I'm thinking below $2,000) but really fucking sexy PC laptop? I'm looking for Dell vs. Gateway vs. an actual store in the Philly area type advice.

Vacation Pictures

Pictures from Commencement are here.

You should know that I spent a lot of time debating over whether or not to buy this hat. In the end, I decided against it, but I kind of regret it.

Hello, Nipples

A friend of mine told me he went to a strip club and saw a stripper with Hello Kitty pasties.

I cannot even describe how badly I need Hello Kitty pasties. I would wear Hello Kitty pasties to work if I had them. If you know of such an item, can you please fill me in on where to get it?

A Typical Evening

Tonight I dressed up like a pirate and watched Maid in Manhattan.

When I Am Queen

No one over 40 will be allowed to wear midriff-baring shirts.

Seriously, what is with all the middle aged women wearing belly shirts? Are they wearing them to work? Who decided belly shirts were acceptable day time street wear, anyway?

Age gracefully! Hide your sagging flesh for the light of day! Hell, hide your non-sagging flesh from the light of day. Just put the stomach away already.

Creepy!

I just saw The Stepford Wives.

On the one hand, I could use a wicked hot house cleaning robot. On the other hand, that movie is the creepiest thing I've ever fucking seen and I just saw Whatever Happened to Baby Jane last week.

I'm not sure if that movie would have been more or less creepy when it first came out. I mean, it bothers me that none of the women in the movie, not even the "feminist" ones, have real jobs. Yes, the main character is a photographer, but she's not actually earning any money from it. All the women have to cook and clean and watch the children, the robot ones are just really good at it.

Small World

While I was waiting at the airport for my plane at 5:30 am Monday morning, I randomly ended up chatting with a fellow travelor. It turned out that he was from Cleveland, now lives in LA, and knows someone I went to junior high school with.

Alternative Universe

This weekend I ate a pot brownie and ended up hanging out at a party full of folk singing lesbians.

It was kind of like being in some movie full of free-love style hippie girls. Except in real life. And there was more folk dancing.

Culture Jamming

Saturday morning I went to pay for my lunch, and discovered I had written political slogans all over my money while drunk.

You feel kind of sketchy paying for stuff with a wad of cash that has "Girl Love is Good Love" written in red sharpie on every single bill.

Borgeois

Today I went to the mall, and in a fit of consumption, purchased the first season of Buffy on DVD.

I also got a crazy sexy shirt and awesome shoes at Hot Topic. (The shoes are studded mary jane platforms with an ankle strap and they were on sale for $9. I may post pictures later.)

Obie Por Vida

People keep asking me if I've graduated. Like, people I know.

I kind of want to be like, "No, you just haven't run into me for the past year.

Also, people keep saying "Welcome back." I'm just visiting, for Christ's sake. It's a weird thing to say.

It's My Happening and It's Freaking Me Out!

Oberlin is weird. There's all these people I know and even more people I don't know and a whole hell of a lot of people I vaguely know and I totally have no idea who to say hi to.

So, if you see me, say hi to me, okay? Then again, this might all be less confusing if I had slept last night.

My Brain Is Weird

Last night I dreamed about Indie Rock, and I woke up with "Hello Operator" by the White Stripes stuck in my head.

Skipping Town

I may actually be going to Ohio for vacation, but I prefer to think of my destination as "the Hell Out of Dodge."

I may not be blogging for the next four or five days. But if you're in Oberlin, I'll be there too!

Skritch vs. Snicket

Buffy Spoiler

I can't believe they killed Anya! I really liked her.

Why, for the love of god, couldn't they have killed Dawn? They could have tortured her! Willow could have turned into hot evil Willow and flayed off all her skin! Then Willow and Anya could have hot lesbian sex!

Why don't they put me in charge of these things? If I was in charge, there totally would have been 200% more Xander skullfuck jokes.

I Need My Ears Scritched

I think what I am looking for in a relationship is really just someone who will pet my head.

Whoa, Blossom

I can't explain this, but you really have to see it.

(Via Uffish)

I Am Crafty!

I crocheted this cell phone case. It turned out a little awkward, since I was just making it up as I went along, but overall, very cute.

Make Me 133+ Again!

So I installed Moveable Type on my server yesterday, and I got my archives switched over and everything, and so far it's giving me a huge boner. Seriously, it's awesome.

Except now I want to do a redesign and make everything all pretty, and I'm all, "Cascading WHAT? Style huh? Can't I just edit the template? What's going ON?"

Would one of you groovy MT people help a girl out over here? I will love you forever! I really just need advice on how to get started. You should keep in mind that right now I just edit my template in Dreamweaver 3 and dump in the necessary blogger code.

Be My Friendster

So I'm doing the Friendster thing, and it frightens and confuses me.

But if you're on it, you should be my friend. My email address is cyn@pinkhairedgirl.com.

And if you're not on it, you should also be my friend. Just, in a non scary online networking tool way.

Keith Haring Auction

My roommate's work is auctioning off a Keith Haring Lithograph.

I realize that most of you probably don't have a spare five hundred or so dollars lying around, but it's for a really good cause (he works at a LGBT Health Non-profit), and they've got like, zero publicity, so spread the word, okay?

Or if you do happen to have an assload of money lying around, by the fucker. It's cool and it's for a good cause.

Some Thoughts on X2 (May Contain Spoilers)

Wolverine sure is pretty, but he isn't too bright.

I think about the third time that Nightcrawler started reciting the rosary (or whatever it's called) during a high stress situation, I would use whatever my mutant power was to make him shut the hell up.

That Rogue sure is pretty.

Man, what is up with Storm's wig? I see better wigs than that on the Tranny Hookers on 12th and Locust.

If I had a mutant power, I would want it involve sparkly special effects. Like, maybe I would have control over glitter and shiny things.

The Internet Has the Answer

I find this cartoon disturbingly relevant to my last post.

In Which I Discuss: Money, Writing, and Bert's Bees

I went to Borders today and spent fifty-four dollars on books. Fifty-four dollars. I only got four books! And one of them wasn't even a book, it was a freakening literary magazine.

I justified buying the lit mag as research, on the theory that I'll read it, figure out what kind of story they publish, write that kind of story, send it to them, and bask in fame and fortune. I know quite well that what will actually happen is that I'll read it, curse at how people who are obviously way less talented than I am are getting published, and then I will continue to send the same three stories out to lit mags and watch the rejection letters roll in. Not to mention that the only things I write are this blog and self-indulgent things about my ex-girlfriend, and I only write about a paragraph a week on the self-indugent things. But before that all I wrote were self-indulgent things about my ex-boyfriend. I've written maybe one story ever that wasn't about some shitty relationship I've had.

Lately I feel like I want to take a break from wanting to be a writer. Writing isn't easy for me. When I write, I sit and I think and I write maybe like, a paragraph, and every word has to be pulled out of my brain. Unless I write crap that is only funny to me. I have no discipline about that, I always write things just because they amuse me, I just stick in shit I find funny and everyone's like, "Um, why is this here? This makes no sense." I get these stories in my head, and I try to write them down and it's so goddamned hard to make the words do what I want them too. It's so hard to write a good sentence. I would give a lot to be able to write even decent sentences on a regular basis. Instead, they run on or they twist or the words just aren't right.

Why do I have to be a writer, anyway? Just because it's what I've wanted to do since I was six? Everyone acts like it's something that I have to do, like I'll be throwing something away if I don't. Why can't I just be a computer programmer? I'm damned good at that, it's easy, and it pays better. Why is writing better than programming? Is it just because everyone understands it? Or is it because writing touches people and programming touches machines? Programming satisfies me. It tells me when it works, I know when it's done. Stories are never done, or they are done and you don't notice and go too far and ruin it.

My writing can be funny sometimes, but I wish I could get it to be beautiful. It's so hard to write something beautiful and not have it be trite.

I was flipping through short story anthologies at Borders, and I kept seeing stories by Dan Chaon, my old creative writing advisor. It was funny, I was like, "But, Dan's my friend! He's in a book with all the big famous writers!"

Dan would probably tell me to go to grad school. Dan did tell me to go to grad school. Well, actually, he said, "You're going to grad school," and I said, "No I'm not," and he said, "You may not be going now, but you're going."

There were those little packages of tiny Bert's Bees products all over Borders, too. They're everywhere, lying in wait, hoping to catch me in a moment of weakness.

It's probably only a matter of time.

Checka Checka

My temporary housemate and lackey Rowan just started a blog.

What is Rowan like? Well, tonight he caused much freaking out amongst my friends when he said, "What's the point if they're female animals?"

Maybe you had to be there.

Also, he's good at washing dishes and bad at cutting up bell peppers.

Out of Context

Adam: The title of your autobiography should be, "Get That Shit Away From My Vagina."
Me: The subtitle will be, "No! Not the Face!"

At Age 19 I Was Kidnapped By Turkish Pirates

I saw Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks tonight. Stephen Malkmus was dorkier than I expected, which I liked because he always seems like kind of a prick in interviews. The Jicks are all completely adorable and I want to have sex with all of them at the same time. The smoking girl guitarist. (No, literally smoking a cigarette as she came on for the encore.) The keyboardist who did little dances. The hyperactive drummer. When Stephen played drums and the drummer played guitar, and the drummer stood on his drums at the end of the song, playing and looking down at Stephen, I had to restrain my urge to scream, "MAKE OUT!" at them.

Stephen kept hunching over the microphone, and I kept thinking he must be very uncomfortable. That, and, "Don't slouch, you'll ruin your posture." Because I am eighty.

It's always kind of weird in a good way when you see a band whose albums you've listened to a million times. Second Semester of last year, I played the self titled album every morning while I drank coffee. I'd wait until the pirate song played, then go out on my porch to smoke a cigarette. When I saw Rufus Wainwright last year, he was exactly how I thought he would be. Stephen Malkmus was different than how I thought he would be, but in a good way.

Although, he did forever break my heart by not playing "The Hook." It's my favorite song! What was he thinking?

Tiny! Beauty! Products!

Whole Foods has all these little bags with lots of tiny Bert's Bees products in them scattered all over their store.

I really, really want one. There's like, a baby one and a make up one and a facial one and possibly others. They are so, so, so very cute.

They are also $12. And I spend enough money at Whole Foods already, what with their expensive but incredibly yummy and vegetarian food.

Also, after I put that cardigan on to take that picture, I was like, "Cardigan! So soft! So warm! So old lady styling!" and I totally wore it grocery shopping. Unfortunately, it later got too warm to really be cardigan weather, so I had to take it off.

I Am 80

Three days ago, it was really damp and kind of cold, and my formerly broken ankle was totally freaking out. I was all like, "My ankle's acting up! It's going to rain, you know!"

Two days ago, I hit the cardigan motherload in a thrift store on South Street.

I also have a new crocheting project.

Yesterday, I told Phil to take off his good shirt before he cleaned the bathroom.

In a couple of weeks, I'll most likely be reminiscing about the good old days and telling those damn kids to stay off my lawn.

Bah. Kids today. Why back in my day, I tell ya . . . Hey! Where are you going? Come back here! Young whippernsappers. No respect for their elders.

Tell Me What To Do

I Am Kind of Shortish

Hobbit


To which race of Middle Earth do you belong?
brought to you by Quizilla

Me: Innocent? Agrarian? That doesn't sound like me.
Phil: But "hole-dwelling" does.

I'm Not Even Supposed To

I'm Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today
Friend: How was your day at work?
Me: One day, I will kill them all.

Work actually wasn't that bad, but I was originally supposed to be off today and had to come in to accomadate a meeting and general schedule wackiness. On top of it, I was there till two am last night, and had to come in at 11 am this morning, so it feels like all I've done in the last 24 hours is work and sleep. And everyone at work seemed to be in a crap-ass mood.

And I wasn't even supposed to be there today! And work is twice is annoying as usual when you've been looking forward to a day off.

I've been really busy lately, but in a good "actually having a life" way. Hence, the semi-lack of blogging.

Colleen Coover Loves Me!

My fan letter to Colleen Coover was printed in the letters section of the latest Small Favors!

I am kind of giddy with the extreme coolness of this.

You can order Small Favors here.

I would link to Colleen Coover's website, but it appears to be down at the moment.

(Neither Small Favors nor the links are worksafe.)

Wanted

I need kitchen cleaning elves. And I need them now.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

East/West is dead. Long live Choire and Philo.

Congrats on the new digs, boys. Long may you blog.

Mean Boys

The thing I neglected to realize when agreeing to let my friend Rowan sleep on my couch for a while is that this means that there are now two boys living in my house. They like to eat meat and play video games and torment me!

I have totally fucked up the balance of power in this household.

Also, Phil and Rowan together know pretty much everything there is to know about me. And they use this information to torment me!

Pictures!

Gay karaoke pictures are here.

The Surreal Life

Tonight I put on a prom dress, a pink cape, and a lot of sparkly make up, and went to karoke at a gay bar.

Jill wore a prom dress with me, and Rowan got dragged along, although not in a prom dress.

Possibly pictures tomorrow.

Fun Purchase of the Moment

Crazy fake Hello Kitty ponytail holders from the Liberty Dollar.

These ponytail holders have inspired me to put my hair into crazy little ponytails, despite the fact that it my hair is far too short for these types of shenanigans.

Truly, they are marvelous.

Does This Ever Happen To You?

Sometimes I'll be talking to someone I don't really know, someone I've met at a show or through friends or at a party or something. I'll be talking, and we'll have a conversation where I end up going, "Yes, well, I don't eat meat and I have sex with girls and I don't have a television and sometimes I take drugs, although not really anymore, and I don't pay attention to the news because I just figure the government is lying to me anyway and I don't have a car." And then I'll have this moment of realization where I go, "Oh my god, I'm a total freak."

This happens with a disturbing amount of frequency lately. I personally feel this probably means I am meeting too many normal people. That, or I should just deal with the fact that I have become bugfuck crazy charmingly eccentric.

Housemate

A sparrow just flew in my door. It is currently hiding behind the stereo. I am hoping it will leave presently.

On the other hand, I am currently without housemates/guests, as the lovely Wendy Lady has departed, Phil is visiting his family, and Ro will not be here until Sunday, most likely.

Geek!

Last night I had a dream that combined both computer programming and Sandman.

I am now officially the dorkiest person on earth.