Emily. Shock and Awe.

Phil. Just Like In the Movies.

Wendy. Ski Bum and Adventuress.

Rachel. Dancing Queen.

Julie. The Littlest Elf.

Chris. There Ain't No Party Like a Marching Band Party.

Cyn. Just a Pink Haired Girl.

 

what we do at work: there is a man who has been sitting in a collapsable chair in our office parking lot for at least an hour. he's staring right at us, but can't see us through the reflective windows. so we stare back at him and wonder what the hell he's doing. almost as good as the zoo. then, i have an idea. i take the folding chair from the back of the office, walk outside and set up my chair next to his. i look at the sky, which is blue and very pleasant. after a couple minutes, he says "nice view."
"yeah, i came out here to find out what all the fuss was about. not bad," i say.
"i locked my keys in the truck," he replies, "but luckily i have my chair."

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 7:55 PM

 

oh blog, i know i haven't been here in a while, but why must you become weird and blue and crazy in my absence?

i've been busy and all over the place for the last month. went to LA, Santa Barbara, San Francisco, camping, rafting... and i think that's about it. the big excitement, aside from the having the mysterious brian return my long lost video one fine summer afternoon, was getting to hang out with chris' very crazy very drunk extended family, who it turns out were once the big drug runners of central california. nothing like sitting around the bar in a 4 star hotel and listening to stories about mexican prison.

last night, my officemates and i invented a game called "dress up like your favorite married with children character and go to the casinos." eventually, we became bored with this and found another party. there was a band playing called 'the village idiot all star reunion' and they were hilarous, sort like tom waits spoken word stuff with little bits of popular songs mixed in. it's hard to explain. many drunken people were attempting to dance to spoken word, which was mighty funny to watch. also people had costumes on, so we kinda fit in, in an odd way. everybody was getting wasted on jello shots served in what appeared to be test tubes. i guess the theme of this party was 'is it random? does it involve alcohol or drugs? then, why the hell not?' in the bathroom i had a random encounter with an oberlin person. she was this bitchy girl who i'd gone on a canoeing trip with freshman year. she immediatly started bugging me about kimmel, asking me where he lived, and telling me she had this thing for him. my drunken brain decided to tell her that kimmel and i had a falling out after i confronted him about his coke habit and i'd last seen passed out in a bar in the mission. this appeared to be deeply disturbing to her. i feel kinda bad now. no, wait, actually i don't. no more liquor in test tubes for me.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 12:39 PM

 

Yesterday was rugby, and last night was rugby drinking the highlight of which, besides my liver not falling out in a bloody mess, was learning the following song.

(Sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic)
Jesus can't play rugby because the ball goes through his hands.
Jesus can't play rugby because he has illegal headgear.
Jesus can't play rugby because he's only got 12 friends.
Jesus can't play rugby because his dad will fix the games.
Jesus can't play rugby because he's nailed up on the cross.

The lowpoint of the night was being hugged by a naked many in his forties.

posted by Phil Comments [] 11:19 AM

Friday, June 27, 2003

 

Jack Murnighan loves bush.

Oh, be still my beating heart . . . Why can't Jack Murnighan be my too old for me boyfriend? I know I'm a lesbian, but still . . . Jack Murnighan! I am totally a Lesbian Plus Jack.

posted by Cyn Comments [] 4:59 PM

 

still New York City

Blogger is nuts. Ok, but I'm gonna try to soldier on here, despite the change in appearance.
I just had to tell everyone about the crazy, fascist, right-wing performance of Shakespeare's Henry V that Eben and I saw in Central Park this evening. First of all, I should say that the performance could not decide what time period it was in-- some people appeared in period costume at the start and then there were guys in suits who kind of looked like they were from the postmodern age and then the military uniforms were all sort of WWI-ish. Some of the actors could not even decide on an accent. Balki from "Perfect Strangers" played Pistol as an Italian guy from Long Island but quickly switched to a British accent at times. There were also some distinctly wacky elements that seemed to have no other purpose than to add wackiness to an otherwise disjointed performance. These included adding the word "cunt" spoken in a French accent by Katherine following the scene in which she attempts to master English words for different parts of the body, a random shower scene, Balki's recitation of the phrase "Super-cali-fragalistic-expialidocious" and a birth scene tacked onto the end (in which the chorus-guy served as midwife/doctor).
Yes, this is bad, but how is it fascist one might wonder? Well, a key speech by the chorus-guy at the end of the battle scene was altered to include the following words and phrases: "Brother President," "Baghdad," "Iraq," and "skewered Sadaam." We suspected early on that this particular play was chosen simply as a ploy to bash the French, now a standard in New York chic patriotism. And get this-- the director is British.

posted by Julie Comments [] 1:42 AM

Thursday, June 26, 2003

 

Other things I did today

1. Attended a strategic planning breakfast for the Philadelphia Art Alliance; no breakfast was served.


2. Accomplished nothing at work; besides shit-talking about a soon to be former co-worker


3. Shaved my head


4. Networked with subrban gay activists


5. Turned down a drink from a former US attorney state general


6. Tormented Cyn

posted by Phil Comments [] 10:06 PM

 

Truely a Great Day

The Supreme Court has ruled that laws criminalizing sodomy are unconstitutional. I love my founding fathers! Now, I need to find something to sodomize.

posted by Phil Comments [] 12:12 PM

Monday, June 23, 2003

 

New York City

When I first got here, I stayed 2 nights with Rachel and Dani and Lev in their adorable, homey apartment in the village. Cyn came up for the weekend and it was fun to see her for a whole day (something I didn't get to do in Philly). Mostly, I caught up on my girly time and on my TV watching as it was sort of icky weather and no one wanted to go out. We almost went to an amateur burlesque show, but then we didn't. I highly recommend Rach and Dani's apartment-- it is totally cute and has a lovely fold-out sofa bed.
And now, I'm staying with Eben in his mom's apartment on the upper west side. We watched Hedwig last night and although we try to go out and do things, we seem to be tired a lot, which leads to lots of time spent in bed realizing we're really not all that tired.

posted by Julie Comments [] 4:54 PM

Thursday, June 19, 2003

 

I may have come up with either the worst or most brilliant personal motto ever: "Never let ignorance nor incompetence stop you from doing anything."

I'll try living by it for a few days and let you know how it goes.

posted by Phil Comments [] 7:21 PM

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

 

Philadelphia, PA

Since coming here, I have seen three great films (Capturing the Freidmans, Cold Comfort Farm and Casablanca), been introduced to all of the people Phil is currently having sex with, sung "I Will Survive" and "Baby One More Time" at karaoke night to the delight of many, been failed by both technology and doorlatches, lazed about in Cyn and Phil's apartment (which involved sending many squishy e-mails to the boy), met many of Cyn and Phil's adorably dorky friends and come up with a parking scandal wherein I will hopefully get to stay in a local garage for three days for the price of one (keep your fingers crossed on that one). It's been a marvelous beginning to the Big Crazy Road Trip and now I'm off to NYC. Wish me luck...

posted by Julie Comments [] 10:51 PM

Tuesday, June 17, 2003

 

i am wendolyn's $200 bottle of champagne hangover.

today at work i picked up the phone and said "thank you for calling me!" then i busted up laughing and had to hang up.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 7:21 PM

Monday, June 16, 2003

 

Jaded

It might have something to do with searching the internet for six hours looking for foundational funding for LGBT health, but I think I don't believe in Social Change anymore. I mean it is a nice idea, but think about it on the micro-level. Can you change your family? your friends? strangers? Thousands of them? an entire country? I mean given enough time maybe, but hello, Women's Sufferage was when, and I still wouldn't want to be a woman.

Also, I am so goofing off at work.

posted by Phil Comments [] 3:36 PM

 

Hey, so I am settling in in my great new apartment & have done lots of cool stuff in the last few days, including picking up & assembling a futon, shopping for groceries & liqour, having gas, phone & internet installed (gas & internet coming soon), calling the bank, credit card & cell phone bill people to give them my new address, finding a great chair & dresser FOR FREE in the street, obtaining a college ID card, making an appointment to meet with one of the English professors, making alarmist telephone calls to the landlady (thought the refrigerator was broken; turned out to be a fuse), & reading Bertrand Russell. Julie came to see us the other night on the first leg of the Big Crazy Road Trip. While he had the inestimable joy of getting to see Lynn & I bitch at each other like old ladies -- we were having a fight about Plato & Aristotle, & Lynn was in a sassy mood. We did not have much entertainment to offer her, what with our lack of VCR & such, but all she really wanted was food, & she later enchanted us by reading us a story. Yesterday evening I went to a graduation party at Bettina's house. She is coming over for a slumber party tonight. Good times.
For those who care about such things, I would like to recomment Lipfinity by Max Factor for all your lipstick needs. It says it lasts 8 hours but it really lasts like 12. It will even last overnight if you want it to. It is a true miracle product, & I do not use those words lightly.

posted by Emily Comments [] 12:07 PM

Thursday, June 12, 2003

 

My post is not going to be nearly as interesting or well-composed as Phil's, but here goes:
I did a silly thing yesterday and went bathing suit shopping on a whim. (Anyone who has ever shopped for a women's bathing suit knows that it is a task that requires at least an entire day of scrutinizing yourself in dressing room mirrors while wearing spandex underwear.) I was in the mall so I wandered into Water Water Everywhere and began perusing the racks. I came across no attractive bikini tops. They were all either silly little string bikinis with no support or padded things that were far too structured for someone with C-cups. When a sales lady asked if she could help me find anything, I said, "Yes, where are the bathing suits for women with breasts?" but she was not very helpful.

posted by Julie Comments [] 4:02 PM

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

 

Last night, in the midst of frantically searching for a replacement escort to a cocktail party, I found out that my Great uncle John died Monday night. I was never terribly close to the man, but there was an understanding between us, and I know he is happy that I moved to Philly, closer to home. At 93 he lived a long good life; he got to see his only grandson get married. How many of us will be able to say that?

Anyways, death makes me crazy, and it doesn't have anything to do with death. It's all about my family. They're casually racist, firmly rooted in their conservative beliefs of how the world works, and probably worst of all they're boring. How many times can you have a conversation about your bedroom funiture? My extended family isn't really a group of people I like being around; and funerals are one of the few events that can actually get the entire family together. The funny, strange, thing is that my family is really good at funerals. The death, the grief, something, forces them to put aside their need for snide comments and judgements. These people somehow come together and make something that actually resembles a family. It's one of those things where you walk into the funeral home and you know that everyone there has your back no matter what happens. It feels safe, in that the whole world has gone crazy sort of way.

So understandably, my parents are coming to Philadelphia. My dad and brother just for the day. My mom for a week or so. The strange thing is my Uncle John was the oldest person in our family, I've always thought of him as the reigning patriarch. If you had a problem he'd know someone, grease some wheels, he could help you out in some way, and no one would ever cross him (except his wife, but she's allowed). His death marks the passing of an entire generation of Grasso's. There are wives and husbands, but they never really count. (At my cousin's wedding they took a picture of all the Grassos and a separate picture of all the in-laws) So the responsibility of "running" the family falls to my parents generation, and I realize that pretty soon a new generation is going to start springing up around us. I almost feel like saying something like, "The king is dead, long live the king." So yeah, that's what's been running through my head. It's a little crazy in my France right now.

posted by Phil Comments [] 12:00 PM

Monday, June 09, 2003

 

They make it sound like such a bad thing!

posted by Cyn Comments [] 9:24 PM

 

The boy just left. *sigh* I'm really going to miss how we can while away the hours staring lovingly into one another's eyes and making fart jokes. He's wonnerful.

posted by Julie Comments [] 4:20 PM

Saturday, June 07, 2003

 

In a cute, but not so unexpected twist of the universe, I have a boy too. Mine is visiting me right now in Baltimore so I haven't been doing much besides adorably cute couply things that no one wants to hear about. Has anyone seen Say Anything? Because, sometimes, we're just like John Cusack and that chick in the movie. I might even teach him to drive stick shift one of these days.

In other news, the road trip (usually referred to as The Big Crazy Road Trip) will be commencing shortly and Philadelphia will be among the first stops (if not THE first stop). Phil, now that we both have boy things, does this mean I can't sleep in your bed?

posted by Julie Comments [] 3:58 PM

 

Emily, this site can dress you up.

posted by Phil Comments [] 12:02 PM

Friday, June 06, 2003

 

Item 1: Lynn is here. We are going to be moving into our apartment tomorrow unless something goes horribly wrong. Tonight was packing night, which we accomplished by finding/obtaining about 10 boxes & filling them with books. There are still books left. Then we took an extended break in which we drank wine & listened to records & looked at the pictures in a 1970's-era Vogue. My parents would interrupt with helpful questions such as: "DO YOU HAVE A BOX THAT [inaudible] WILL FIT IN?" Then I would be like "UH, I'M NOT SURE, PUT IT IN THE HALL & I'LL CHECK!"

Item 2: Have you looked at or thought about Pokey the Penguin lately? I have! Pokey the Penguin has a posse!

posted by Emily Comments [] 1:52 AM

Thursday, June 05, 2003

 

I learned an important lesson today.

"Our faith is like stilts in some ways. It keeps us from getting soiled by the world so we can do God's work. But it takes patient practice and exercise to keep from the temptations of the world. Temptations try to trip us up, get us mired down in bad habbits and make our walk of faith difficult."

Is there anything I can do that someone can't bring God into?

posted by Phil Comments [] 10:05 PM

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

 

From a Nerve article on dating stoners:

"The stoners just looked at my ass like it was an ice cream cake. They're just more basic, less analytical. They have a straightforward, pre-verbal quality that I love: if they like something, they put it in their mouths. There's no strategy involved."

Genius!

posted by Cyn Comments [] 10:42 PM

Monday, June 02, 2003

 

In what may be a cute, wierd and surrealist twist to the universe, I have a boyfriend. Not that we're official; in fact I think we've officially decided that we are potentially future boyfriends, but for fuck's sake people I've already met and had sex in front of his family.

And yes, it the boy with the skin condition.

In other news, I currently have the mental capacity of pudding.

posted by Phil Comments [] 5:00 PM