Emily. Shock and Awe.

Phil. Just Like In the Movies.

Wendy. Ski Bum and Adventuress.

Rachel. Dancing Queen.

Julie. The Littlest Elf.

Chris. There Ain't No Party Like a Marching Band Party.

Cyn. Just a Pink Haired Girl.

 

Oh, look, two posts in a row!

So some random internet dude has sent me not one, not two, but three emails tonight, all of them saying something like, "I WANT TO GET TOGETHER WITH YOU TONIGHT" (That's actually one of the emails in its entirety.)

So what I thought when I recieved these little missives was not, "Oh goody, I'm being stalked," or, "Man, does he really think that that's going to work?" but, "Oh please, as though I would ever go anywhere with anyone who types in all caps."

posted by Cyn Comments [] 9:50 PM

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

 

Look, I'm posting! Too bad I'm boring.

Emily, you need to see a movie called Casino Royale. It's a psychadelic movie with Woody Allen AND James Bond.

PS. Be on acid.

posted by Cyn Comments [] 11:21 PM

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

 

I've taken it six times now, and keep getting this:


How evil are you?

In other news, I so need to get some fake contacts and figure out how to make myself bluish green.

posted by Phil Comments [] 12:45 AM

Monday, September 22, 2003

 

Let the Moving Hell Begin...
So, I spent about 4 hours doing nothing at the U-haul place today while they attached a hitch to my car. The hitch is kind of like a piercing for my car-- it's shiny and new and I think it does a lot for the look. At least it doesn't require soaking. Anyway, I did not realize I was going to have to spend quite so long over there at the U-haul place and, when I drove in from D.C. this morning, I didn't have any breakfast. So, I was in a large room lit with flourescent lights having eaten nothing but Hostess Donettes (the chocolate-covered things that aren't even worthy of the name donut) consoling myself with the idea that at least I would get to see Eben tonight since his friend was supposed to be driving him down from New York.
Then I got a call saying that Eben's friend didn't feel like driving all the way from New York (even though we said we would pay for his gas and he basically agreed to do it last week) so it's up to me now to drive 3 hours into Manhattan (a really fun place to be driving, let me tell you). Let's hope the actual move (to take place Wednesday) goes more smoothly, eh?

posted by Julie Comments [] 5:55 PM

Saturday, September 20, 2003

 

rachel-- you have not been blogging. you are very very bad.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 3:28 PM

Friday, September 19, 2003

 

Sometimes it's nice to have a little validation:

How evil are you?

posted by Julie Comments [] 3:49 PM

Thursday, September 18, 2003

 

As some of you may know, the state of MD is being menaced by a hurricane, which has been spending all day travelling up from South Carolina & will hit us with most of its force around 4 in the morning. The University was closed today, which means I got to go back to bed & didn't have to make a lesson plan! (On a sad note, though, my 101 classes lost 75 minutes of class time & will have to put off Draft Workshop Day until next week.) I saw this day off as a great opportunity to bake a pie, so that is what I did. Weather conditions right now are fairly normal; we are experiencing some unusually high winds, but not amazingly high winds, &, as you can see, the power is still on. On an unrelated not, the following is an excerpt from an AIM conversation I had with Cyn that will indicate to you how I feel about kittens. (Screen names changed for privacy.)

Cyn: Dude, Jill's cat had kittens!
Cyn: They are so TINY AND CUTE!
Cyn: TINY KITTENS
Emily: KITTENS3-0496UB' QWERQ V!!!@#@!!!!
Emily: .ASD LCQ;985 YU
Emily: dk'A JKWR
Cyn: JUST BORN KITTENS
Emily: Oops sorry, I find kittens exciting
Cyn: WITH CLOSED EYES
Cyn: Kittens are super exciting.
Cyn: They are palm sized!
Emily: OMG@@##!!!KITTENS q'w4oi[
Emily: FUCKING HELL TINY KITTENS WITH CLOSED EYES
Emily: I wish they were here right now.
Cyn: Oh man, they're cute.
Cyn: And she also has GAY CATS IN LOVE.
Emily: ARE YOU GOING TO ADOPT A KITTEN
Cyn: It's like, Cute Cat Land over there.
Emily: DID THE GAY CATS HAVE A BABY
Cyn: No, but maybe the gay cats will adopt a kitten.
Cyn: Well, you see, I came home today and was like, "Phil! Kittens!"
Cyn: And Phil was like, "That's funny, I looked at snakes today."
Emily: KITTENS KITTENS

posted by Emily Comments [] 10:00 PM

Monday, September 15, 2003

 

I almost forgot the funny thing that happened in the airport on the way back from the wedding:

Eben and I were waiting at the gate where his plane was going to take off and some stupid security guy set off a very loud, very annoying alarm. The security officer then disappeared and no one came to do anything about the alarm for a very long time. So, I decided to use the "may I help you" approach and I got up and went over the the entrance to the gate walkway-thingy where the alarm was going off and started pushing buttons and attempting to communicate with people through the little microphone/walkie-talkie thing that was mounted on the wall up there. Though I did a pretty good job of looking like a layperson who had no idea what she was doing and was most likely fucking with precious airline equipment, no one came over to "help" me and the alarm continued to blare. Just goes to show how much they've really done to step up security in the airports.

posted by Julie Comments [] 7:05 PM

Sunday, September 14, 2003

 

today is the day of franticness. apparently, i am leaving tomorrow to climb mount shasta, which at 14,000 some feet is way up there with the airplanes. thus i am trying to round up random yet essential items, including: a topographical map, clean socks, an ice axe, while simultaneously pretending to do my job. this leads to conversations such as:
-- so your credit card was charged $1900 on july 18th, right? and that was the visa card... ok. please hold.
-- yes, i'm still here. so what is the difference between the black diamond ax and the little lizzie borden model?
-- oh, size, i see. so which would be good for me if i'm going climbing and have a mortal fear of weapons, knives and other sharp objects?
-- thanks for holding. i'm not seeing that charge in our records. oh, is this still rei? woops.
-- ok, so it looks like that charge did not come from lodging. it came from retail. did you buy anything?
-- oh, a bike. yep. that would be the $2000! have a nice day.
-- yeah, ok, i'll come to the store and have a look. oh, sorry, wrong line again. have a nice day.

anyhow, it began last night with some uozo (or however you spell it) and the strange occurance that my entire block was a having a fiesta, or a wedding, in any case, something that involved a mariachi band and hundreds of latino youth swarming the streets. rather than be the bad complaining neighbor, i embraced the chaos, drank too much, wound up dancing. i awoke, shivering and afraid, maybe it was the ouzo, or 3 hours of sleep, and my cat had escaped into the fiesta. perhaps she was pissed that people were having sex in all of her favorite sleeping places, like the bed, the chair, and under the coffee table. i fell asleep with the door wide open. i was waiting for the cat, on the rug under the coffee table. it was 35 degrees inside my aparment when i woke up. this is about as cold as mount shasta. i think i'm all set. oh, and the cat came back.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 8:35 PM

 

Some Highlights from My Cousin's Wedding this Past Weekend:

At the rehearsal dinner, Eben and I were seated next to my rebellious cousin Tom and his adorable LA girlfriend (presumably the seating arrangement was based on the fact that we are the two scandelous unmarried cohabiters in the family). We talked to them about things like pet psychology, presidential platforms, the delicious bananas foster that was served for dessert and I realized that Tom is, like, the coolest of all my cousins. (Too bad my family decided not to tell him when I came to LA and he was DJing at all the cool clubs. bah!)

The wedding itself kind of reminded me of somebody's high school prom. At the rehearsal dinner, the bride thanked her father for "making me your princess and giving me the wedding of my dreams" so I guess you can imagine what it was like. It was white, very very white. The DJ at the country club where they had the reception (like I said, very white) was also like a slightly younger version of Bob Barker. When he introduced the wedding party over the loud speaker before dinner, I just kept waiting for the "come on down!" that never came. We knew we were in trouble when the first song he played was the Electric Slide.

I did have on the cutest outfit ever (just ask Em, she saw it when she came to visit me recently). The theme of the outfit was Super-Matching Southern Belle (since the wedding was in Florida and all) and it included a red ruffly dress with white polka dots, a matching white hat with a red and white hat band, white hoop earrings, white shoes and tastefully tacky white plastic jewelry. I was tempted to tell people upon receiving compliments on my get-up that I'd always depended on the kindness of strangers, but I settled for the amazing story of finding the hat that matched everything perfectly for $12 in a different thrift store than the one in which I'd found the dress.

Having Eben at the wedding was great as he was able to scoff at things with me (we also succumbed to the cheeziness and shared a slow dance or two). We came up with great names for people we didn't know such as Drunk Uncle Redface and Christian Right (the girl who shushed us when we were giggling during dinner).

In keeping with my family traditions, there was a sing-a-long around the piano when we got back to the hotel the first night (after the rehearsal dinner). This time the close proximity of the lobby piano and the hotel bar made the sing-a-long a lot more fun and a lot more raucous than usual. Eben joined in on his favorite tunes from the white album and everyone loved him even though Andy did a good job of getting him pretty sloshed.

The humorous highlight of the trip, though, was when Andy got back to our room drunk and energetic as only Andy can be after several shots of SoCo (Eben and I shared a hotel room with my brother, which was actually not as weird as it could have been, though Andy was not too down with the two of us showering together). Andy stumbled into the room and, announcing that he was hungry, called up room service and proceeded to have a long, drawn out conversation with "Ray," an unfortunate hotel employee. Andy asked Ray if Ray could send him up some eggs, eleven eggs to be exact, but when Ray told him the price of so many eggs at such an hour, Andy decided he wasn't that hungry. The best part was when Andy accidentally hung up on Ray and when the phone rang, he picked it up saying in a very concerned tone, "Ray, is that you? Oh thank god, I was so scared."

All in all, it was a good weekend.

posted by Julie Comments [] 7:33 PM

Saturday, September 13, 2003

 

It's okay, Wendy, I'm back. So here is a homorous incident I was involved in a couple of nights ago, while I was out at an Ethiopian restaurant with 3 friends.

Bettina: That show "MTV undressed" had a whole episode about consent this one time. There were all these plotlines about consent, & then at the end this couple was getting it on & they were all like "Can I kiss your belly button? Can I tickle your neck?" I was like "what are they doing?"
Someone Else: Oh yeah, like the Antioch dating policy.
{Ethiopian waitress arrives, starts filling water glasses.}
Emily: Yeah, I was talking to my friend Cynthia the other night about, like, date rape, & she was like "Women can rape too!" Except she said it in this slightly ominous tone of voice. I was like, "I feel so much less safe now."
Everyone: {General laughter}
Emily: & it's true. Women can rape, too.
Ethiopian waitress: {Laughs audibly}
{Everyone turns to look at waitress in surprise.}
Everyone: {Even louder, surprised laughter}

posted by Emily Comments [] 6:00 PM

 

hey... where is everybody?

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 1:10 PM

Friday, September 05, 2003

 

Actually, it's 2:03pm because Eben and I are in Porland for the week (yay!). Since arriving here on Wednesday, we have looked at 2 apartments, made appointments to see approximately a billion other apartments, eaten cheap yummy local fare, scoped at least 4 different hip neighborhoods, had sex in yet another person's home which was not our own and had lots of squabbles ending with one or both of us saying, "Oh, honey, let's never fight again."

Portland is everything we imagined it could be-- the people are friendly and hippie, the cost of living is quite affordable and it's beautiful. Let's just hope there are some decent jobs out here.

posted by Julie Comments [] 5:03 PM

 

wednesday was my birthday, so you can all wish me a belated happy birthday now. actually, it was a lovely day, filled with topless boating, sushi, saki bombs, lots of saying "it's my birthday!," and complete failure to recall how i made it back to my bed.

also, last week i had the pleasure of visiting the delightful city of san francisco. the theme of the trip was 'dinners with ex's" and i entertained both the kimmel and the steve, in the million dollar penthouse apartment that chris and i have taken to fondly calling 'our vacation cottage.' actually a friend let us use this crazy aparment with incredible views-- you can sit in the jacuzzi tub and watch boats go under the golden gate. i am pleased to report that both the boys are still as crazy as ever and steve still has the hot hot motorcycle. purr.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 11:43 AM

Thursday, September 04, 2003

 

A quote from Phil this Sunday:

You're such a dyke, Cyn, your room is covered with boxes.

posted by Cyn Comments [] 12:24 PM

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

 

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought this would be the best way saying, "Hey don't take me off the blog!" I am at work (I have become one of the many suits you see walking through uptown New York). Anyway, I will begin my blogging angain, but for now I must return to the daily grind.

posted by Samantha Comments [] 2:19 PM

 

Everything Em says is true, you guys. I have to get out of here.

In other news, here's how the removing people-from-the-blog thing breaks down:
2 people voted to remove Chris, one voted not to remove Chris and he got one maybe.
Rachel got 2 votes not to remove her and 2 maybe-we-should-ask-Rachel comments
BSQ got 3 votes for removal and none against.
So, I guess it's up to our lovely web mistress to remove Ben now that he's been voted off the island and the others, well, let the discussion continue...should we have a page for missing/lazy blog members who are not Ben?

posted by Julie Comments [] 10:51 AM

Monday, September 01, 2003

 

Julie has specifically suggested that I fill you guys in on the action-packed day & night I spent with her, so that it what I shall do below. First of all, I got to see the new house in the suburbs, conveniently located in Timonium, MD. It is, as Julie put it, a monument to bourgeois excess. The entire house & all the rooms in it are palatial in size. It has marble floors & hideous chandeliers & vases of fresh flowers in every room. The wine & foodie paraphenalia are out of control. There is a den for watching TV in the basement, & some of the family members get their own suites. Even Julie gets her own bathroom, which, oddly enough, has 2 different entrances on 2 different sides of it. We spent a productive evening waiting for Julie's friend David to get back from the state fair, & watching the movie "Max," which is a high-concept comedy about Hitler when he was a young artist. This was all my idea, & it didn't really live up to its potential, partially due to an unconvincing performancy by John Cusack as an art dealer. He did get some brilliant lines: "Come on, Hitler, let me buy you a lemonade." & later, exhorting him to paint passionately about his war experiences: "You'll be the unknown soldier, come back to haunt us! -- with your brush, Hitler." Then Dave came over & told us all about his girl trouble (too lengthy to go into here), & I had crazy chocolate cravings & ate all the candy in the house (damn hormones!).

The next day we struggled & gave up on trying to get the espresso maker to steam milk, & then, of course, we went hat shopping. The hat was needed for an upcoming wedding; on how sublimely the hat completes the outfit for which it is destined, & of how victory was snatched from the jaws of defeat in our search through the hat shops of Baltimore, I will leave it to the owner of the hat to elaborate. I found a nice shirt on sale at J. Crew (oh come on, it's punk as hell), & we rocked out to Cyn's mix CD. I also wanted to let you guys know that tomorrow is my first day of teaching -- wish me luck!

posted by Emily Comments [] 11:25 PM