Emily. Shock and Awe.

Phil. Just Like In the Movies.

Wendy. Ski Bum and Adventuress.

Rachel. Dancing Queen.

Julie. The Littlest Elf.

Chris. There Ain't No Party Like a Marching Band Party.

Cyn. Just a Pink Haired Girl.

 

There's something about CVS that encapsulates the fun, carefree spirit of America's youth. I think it's the distinctively lackadaisical approach they take toward filling people's prescriptions. I swear to God, it's like "the lighter side of pharmaceuticals" over there. One time they mistakenly gave me only one month's worth of birth control instead of two. Then when I went back a month later, they excitingly told me I wasn't allowed to have any more for three more weeks. Whee! It eventually got straightened out. Then a few days ago I was reminded of this once again when I got to go on an exciting scavenger hunt. I went to CVS in the morning but the pharmacy was unexpectedly closed. They were waiting for the pharmacist; they expected one to show up any minute, or possibly in the afternoon. But the best part came when I returned around five. They told me the prescription was void because somebody with the same name & birthday as me had bought & taken away my prescription, on November 22nd, in College Park. This incident had never occured as far as I knew. I headed off to College Park feeling very violated & prepared to defend my stolen identity.

When I confronted the people there they found out, perhaps not surprisingly, that this sensational doppelganger incident had never occurred. The gals at the Columbia Heights store had done something wrong involving looking in the wrong database, so I finally got my prescription. Good thing it wasn't insulin!

Our new kitchen is done, oh man is it ever. There's a new fridge, new sink, new floor & cabinets, new stove/oven, & of course a wall-mounted microwave & CD player. It's a lot more spacious in there now, yet somehow it feels cosier. You're enclosed by a ring of big, shiny, humming appliances, & it feels safe, like being in the future.

posted by Emily Comments [] 5:24 PM

Thursday, November 18, 2004

 

does anyone remember the time i went to oberlin in september, right before i moved out to california? i was all crazy and kept saying "i'm packing for the rest of my life. i don't know what to bring." that is how i feel right now. i'm trying to pack for this mad trip to costa rica, which may involve any combination of the following activities: rafting, kayaking, camping, hiking, backpacking, surfing, lying on the beach, and capturing, killing, then cooking a thanksgiving turkey. certain people are pressing me to bring them thanksgiving type items to go with the turkey. so, do i bring surfwax or stuffing? caribiners or cranberry relish? hiking boots or helmet and life jacket? seriously, these items will not all fit. if the plane crashes, my luggage will float, the stovetop will rehydrate, and any survivers will be sitting atop my enormous floating backpack eating cold seawater stuffing.

i should return to this packing thing. i have a date in an hour with some beer and tai food. if i don't talk to any of you guys in the next 36 hours, hope everyone has a great thanksgiving. if you're bored hanging out with the family, think of me, being pecked by a wild turkey in some deep dark jungle.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 6:49 PM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

 

I really can't hear "the de-Baathification of Iraq" without thinking of the Objectification of Ari.

posted by Julie Comments [] 1:55 PM

Monday, November 15, 2004

 

Jeez, what a depressing week (week & a half?). As some of you may know, I'm applying to PhD programs now -- don't necessarily want to go someplace new, but they say you should try to have more options to increase your bargaining power. I actually had a dream this week that I stabbed someone in the eye in the English building where I go to work every day. Then people found out about it (of course, because the department had to launch an inquiry into what happened), & I was like "now I'll never get anyone to write me recommendations!" Not a classic anxiety dream, but a non-canonical & very disturbing one.

This weekend I went to a party & got hit on by at least three separate people, who declared their love for me & invited me to all sorts of different functions. The bitter irony of it was that it did me no good because I wasn't interested in them. Somehow I am attracting the wrong base. I am like the Joe Lieberman of love, winning over a bunch of moderates but failing to get out my message to the impassioned believers whose support I need. Why aren't they energized? When did things begin to go wrong for my "party of one"?

posted by Emily Comments [] 9:29 PM

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

 

i started a blog; it seemed like a wholesome and productive way to avoid work. i promise that i will make it cuter and less blue soon.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 7:13 PM

 

watch out free masons, here i come!

i am going to the stanford university formal on friday with the kimmel. i find that i am terribly excited. possibly, because i was told that it would be in mansion and have an 'eyes wide shut' theme complete with masons. actually, i believe the phrase "masonic orgy" was used. what's not to love about that? it took me forever to scrounge up a costume, but i finally found one. it is a long red satin dress, and i have made my own mask using many feathers. you have to understand that i am in love with this dress. words cannot express the love that i feel. thank you macy's for bringing us together - on sale even!

apparently there is also an open bar. yes, open bar. the last time i went to an event with an open bar i wound up drinking champagne out of a woman's shoe and starting a minor fire in my car. i can only begin to imagine the sorts of trouble i will get into this time.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 6:42 PM

Sunday, November 07, 2004

 

More Politics

These are my thoughts on the current situation. A lot of people are going to be understandably depresseds, & they're going to say that the Republicans have this big mandate now, that it proves that Democrats have no idea how to connect with Americans, & that we should have known Kerry was a terrible candidate. I thought about it for a while, & I read a bunch of articles about it on Slate & Salon.com, & I realized I don't believe it. As some dude pointed out in one article, a "mandate" is what Bill Clinton had when he won by 10 percent, or what Lyndon Johnson had when his opponent (Goldwater) only won 6 states. People don't hate Kerry; they turned out in record numbers to vote for him. This despite the fact that he is the man described as more liberal than Ted Kennedy. Bill Clinton called him up on the phone & was all like "you should support the Defense of Marriage Act if you want to win," & Kerry said "I'm not ever going to do that." That man is more liberal than Bill Clinton, & people voted for him in droves.

The Democratic party did not screw everything all up the way it did in 2000 by running an asshole like Leiberman just because we thought we needed a centrist to win. I think ordinary citizens have also learned a lot from all the grassroots campaigning that went on in this election. People have a firmer idea of what our message is -- Bush doesn't speak for all Americans, & he doesn't speak for us -- & people will be out there on inauguration day protesting to spread that message. I don't think activism is going away.

One of my students wrote in her freewrites that she was glad her candidate won, because "Bush is a wartime president. I didn't really agree with the war, but now that it has started I think he will do a better job of finishing it." I think voters like these were very important to the outcome, perhaps even more so than Karl Rove's 4 million evangelicals. (Or however many evangelicals.) They don't know a lot, & they don't have enough of a framework in their heads to put the things they hear into the proper perspective. Can we win these voters back? Yes, we can, because they're so unpredictable. They might vote Democratic the next time just to prove they're independants. Meanwhile the appeal of evangelical Christianity is limited -- you'll notice that it doesn't seem to have worked for the Bush daughters.

We won't be able to undo the damage Bush does in the next four years, but we will be able to fight again in 2006 & 2008. This wasn't our last chance.

posted by Emily Comments [] 11:27 PM

 

While trolling around Amazon, I found this book. Among the most amazing part of the entire thing is this review:

"It is a rare author that writes books, that - like this one - enables its readers to expand their psychic abilities in actual, working, cost-effective ways.

I have not actually physically read the book, but I build the retro-temporal text-to-mindfield converter that will be in the eighth edition of the book and using that, I transfered the plans for this device to my mind of last week, so that I could build the machine.

It really works. There is no other way I could have build a retro-temporal text-to-mindfield converter as much of the science (such as macro-quantum gravity inverters) has not yet been developed."

Brilliant. Simply brilliant.

posted by Christopher Comments [] 2:30 PM

Friday, November 05, 2004

 

happy guy fawkes day!

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 1:55 PM

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

 

A Pre-November 2nd Mentality
You know what I'm going to say if he loses tomorrow? If Kerry loses?

"Don't blame me, I voted for Al Sharpton."

posted by Emily Comments [] 1:18 AM

Monday, November 01, 2004

 

At my previous job, I worked for a guy who despite being in his late 30’s, looked exactly like that dirty rodent-like boy who lit things on fire during high school chemistry classes. He also smelled strongly of something we eventually decided might be cottage cheese. He had a habit of breathing his stink breath in my face as he told me stories about how he and his wife had a girlfriend, who was this anorexic hippy chick. The image of this was simply too much to bear alone, and thus I shared it with my coworkers. They were intrigued, and also extremely displeased that I had put that image into their minds. I can only imagine that the same thing applies to this, because I simply must share it with the world even though it is truly horrible. I apologize in advance.

My friend who works at urgent care in chico, told this story (somewhere between our discussion of the mutter museum and sorority girls who leave babies in trashbags in the closet):

This woman came into urgent care with abdominal pain. Her husband, who was in the military, was shipped out to iraq. He was paranoid that she’d cheat on him, and so to prevent this, he puts a potato in her vagina. Potatoes grow in the ground where it is warm and wet, much like the vagina, and so the potato grew inside of this woman. Apparently, the potato had grown so much that they had to give her a hysterectomy.

I will nightmares about vegetables growing in my cooch forever.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 6:32 PM

 

Where are we doing Obie Christmas??

As I understand it, options include:
A)New York
B)Philadelphia
C)West Coast (California or Portland)

posted by Julie Comments [] 2:59 AM