Emily. Shock and Awe.

Phil. Just Like In the Movies.

Wendy. Ski Bum and Adventuress.

Rachel. Dancing Queen.

Julie. The Littlest Elf.

Chris. There Ain't No Party Like a Marching Band Party.

Cyn. Just a Pink Haired Girl.

 

My friend Brian, from Oberlin, came up for my 4-day. Brian taught me how to play lacrosse (which is so fun, it makes me regret not playing in college). We went to a driving range to hit golf balls (which is a little more fun than last time, but still not enjoyable). We also drank a lot of beer and played a lot of video games. Brian has an amazing ability to talk to anyone, and everyone my house enjoyed him. He invited my roommates to come down to his house on their 4-days. We may go and participate in more beer drinking and the gun range on his property (not at the same time).

I now have 90% of the points I need to complete school. I'm taking my 100% exam on Tuesday. After that, I board. I sat a pre-board fake-board thing yesterday. I got a 3.06 (grades in nuclear power are really low. If you get above a 3, you dropped mad science), and the comment that I gave one of the best board one of the instructors has seen. Soon, my master plan will come to fruition: go to the horse track every day.

posted by Christopher Comments [] 10:39 AM

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

 

Here, it shall be my job to tell about my weekend with Cyn & Rachel in Washington, D.C. They got to my house at 1-ish on Saturday afternoon. I cleverly made iced tea because I knew there were going to be people coming over (it was the only thing I could think of to do). Cyn's parents dropped her off, & we all had iced tea. After they left we decided to watch Velvet Goldmine (we didn't feel up to anything very taxing). This proved to be a very worthwhile use of our time. I hadn't seen it in a while, & I learned that if you have sex with Iggy Pop, you get to see a spaceship. We went out to dinner with Cyn's parents. I decided it would behoove us to get some mixers, so we went to the new space-age Giant that they have put in our neighborhood. It is huge, much huger than our requirements (tonic water, diet Coke, 2 limes) called for.

We decided to get drunk at the house, where there were lots of people for us to entertain. Bekka's friends The Trust Riots (Chris & Mike, a couple of dudes from Birmingham) were on tour & spending the night. We had lots of emotional conversations about how much we loved each other & how bad homophobia is. Cyn & Rachel borrowed cigarettes from the noise band dudes & they told us hilarious anecdotes. At one point Cyn was discussing the public's perception that bisexuals don't exist, & she was like "yeah, I'm Santa Claus. I come down the chimney" & I was so amused that I spit rum & coke all over my shirt.

Cyn & Rachel got to sleep together on a foldout sofa. (That sofa smells like cat pee, by the way -- hopefully you guys didn't notice.) They got to have a crazy slumber party with Chris & Mike the noise dudes. The next morning we had breakfast with my parents at a diner. The diner waitresses seemed confused by our order & kept bringing us all these extra biscuits & grapefruit halves, as if to ensure that nothing was missing. (I ate all the extra biscuits & grapefruit halves). We spent a lot of time talking about family feuds. It turns out that every family has hilarious feuds that are, in fact, based on nothing, & they can last for decades or generations. People, don't start weird fights between different branches or factions of your family! It is hurtful! I am tired of typing now, so basically, Rachel went home, & I went to Sephora with Cyn, & she left too. The end.

What a great time this is to be in D.C.! Why I Hate D.C. points out that "you can basically see, and/or chew the air." It's really convenient, because you can always find some air if you need it. You don't need to worry about where some air might be when you can fucking SEE it. Or also, if you need some BOILING HOT STEAM to steam open your pores with, the air has that too. It has everything.

posted by Emily Comments [] 12:00 AM

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

 

Faulkner-ized Whitehouse.

Emily, I think you will enjoy this the most.

posted by Cyn Comments [] 4:59 PM

Sunday, July 17, 2005

 

the good news is that i have not actually fallen off the face of the earth. just been busy. here is my typical day: either raft or take photos, either way i'm in the freakin hot blazing sun all day, and by the time i'm off work at 6:30 or so, i'll sit around the rafting store, have a beer and do some work. thanks to the blazing sun and probable lack of lunch, that one beer makes me somewhat loopy and very tired. if i'm smart, i'll go home, drink a gallon of water, another beer, and pass out dead tired. but most nights, i wind up at someone-or-else's bbq, concert, or party, and continue drinking until 2am or 4am at which point i pass out only to wake up and have to raft still slightly drunk. sometimes i think my life is a constant struggle between the forces of drunkeness and sobriety, hydration and dehydration.

the bad news is that past few days have been fairly crappy. business is slow, due mostly to the other evil photographers handing out coupons for free products. mind you, these are free products that they don't actually offer, but it hurts our business anyway. possibly there is something that can be done about people falsely advertising but i haven't quite figured out what. (clever ideas are always most welcome.) perhaps i will hand out coupons for a free llama with every purchase.* mostly, it makes me depressed having to deal with these not-so-nice-people on a daily basis. and they really are not-so-nice. the other day, i witnessed evil photographer man screaming obsenities at his wife next to the river. items were thrown. (rumor has it that evil photographer man has a record for domestic battery!) i thought about calling in a domestic dispute, then i reasoned that the police probably wouldn't respond to my location. "excuse me maam, where are you located?" "um, a large rock beside the river." right.

really, i think i'm all alone in this mess. which should be ok, because i'm a big girl. however, it would be nice if i could take a time-out from adult-hood and have some parent or authority figure hold my hand and say "it's ok, i'll take care of this bully for you... oh, don't cry. here, let me give you a hug. how about some ice cream?"

man oh man, does a hug and some ice cream sound good.

*some restrictions apply. llama is available in stores only. please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery. sorry, we cannot ship llama to canada or us territories.

posted by Wendolyn Comments [] 12:51 AM

Friday, July 08, 2005

 

The lead lining

Cheers for a car that runs. Jeers for when it runs again and when you remember what else you must fix, and find new things that are wrong.

Cheers for drinking $1 pints at 10 AM on a Wednesday. Jeers for messed up situations that inevitably happen after drinking at 10 AM on a Wednesday.

Cheers for the roommate's girlfriend that visits and cleans the house. Jeers for when she gets too comfortable in the house and stops cleaning, because she doesn't care anymore, just like everyone else living there.

posted by Christopher Comments [] 4:48 PM