Emily. Shock and Awe.

Phil. Just Like In the Movies.

Wendy. Ski Bum and Adventuress.

Rachel. Dancing Queen.

Julie. The Littlest Elf.

Chris. There Ain't No Party Like a Marching Band Party.

Cyn. Just a Pink Haired Girl.

 

Be Careful What You Wish For

...because you could get what you wish for, & it might suck. What this refers to is that I eventually went on the date referred to in my previous entry (for a while it looked like it wasn't going to happen), & it was totally boring. I went out for coffee with this dude & he spent most of the time asking me a bunch of not-very-interesting questions about myself, during which time I failed to sense chemistry--but even more damningly, he didn't pay for my coffee! & going out for coffee was his idea! & this is THE SOUTH! I told my mom about it--

Me: So what do you make of that?
Mom: Cheapskate.

Heh! Also, would you like to know about a new, innovative method you can use to improve your health, have more fun, save time & money, & contribute to the dignity of man? Here it is: DON'T DRINK EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOLIC SPIRITS. It's so simple, I don't know why I didn't think of it before this morning. Instead of poisoning oneself by drinking rum (enough rum to float an armada) out of an enormous plastic cup, one can just as easily drink the above from a small glass, in MODERATE QUANTITIES. Not only will you remain lucid for longer, but this simple expedient will allow you to sleep in your own bed, instead of "falling really, really asleep" on the sofa & waking up covered in bruises, at one o'clock in the goddamn morning (that's where the "save time" part comes into it). I haven't really tried it yet but I really think I might be on to something! Anyway, if you guys try my plan, let me know how it works.

posted by Emily 1 comments 10:32 PM