Emily. Shock and Awe.

Phil. Just Like In the Movies.

Wendy. Ski Bum and Adventuress.

Rachel. Dancing Queen.

Julie. The Littlest Elf.

Chris. There Ain't No Party Like a Marching Band Party.

Cyn. Just a Pink Haired Girl.

 

Be Careful What You Wish For

...because you could get what you wish for, & it might suck. What this refers to is that I eventually went on the date referred to in my previous entry (for a while it looked like it wasn't going to happen), & it was totally boring. I went out for coffee with this dude & he spent most of the time asking me a bunch of not-very-interesting questions about myself, during which time I failed to sense chemistry--but even more damningly, he didn't pay for my coffee! & going out for coffee was his idea! & this is THE SOUTH! I told my mom about it--

Me: So what do you make of that?
Mom: Cheapskate.

Heh! Also, would you like to know about a new, innovative method you can use to improve your health, have more fun, save time & money, & contribute to the dignity of man? Here it is: DON'T DRINK EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOLIC SPIRITS. It's so simple, I don't know why I didn't think of it before this morning. Instead of poisoning oneself by drinking rum (enough rum to float an armada) out of an enormous plastic cup, one can just as easily drink the above from a small glass, in MODERATE QUANTITIES. Not only will you remain lucid for longer, but this simple expedient will allow you to sleep in your own bed, instead of "falling really, really asleep" on the sofa & waking up covered in bruises, at one o'clock in the goddamn morning (that's where the "save time" part comes into it). I haven't really tried it yet but I really think I might be on to something! Anyway, if you guys try my plan, let me know how it works.

posted by Emily 1 comments 10:32 PM

 

The Super Bowl is over. Colts won. I may now resume my normal thought process.

posted by Christopher 0 comments 10:50 PM

 

Hey guess what, somebody asked me out on a date! I am not really sure what it will be like, but I have to go, the last time I went on a date it was like 2005. New Orleans was still unragaved by Hurricane Katrina, the Iraq "surge" was not even yet a gleam in the eyes of our glorious leaders, Britnery was still with K-Fed, etc. etc. It is time to enter the brave new world of late-aughts, post-Britney-divorce, Democrats-in-control-of-congress romance.

Also, today I made some vegetarian chili with TVP & beans. See? It's a whole new attitude. Instead of doing nothing, being embittered, & buying lunch at school, it's all about doing stuff, having positive energy, & saving money in tiny increments. I will let you know how it goes.

posted by Emily 0 comments 11:29 PM

 

Normally, I don't get too wrapped up in sports. During last year's Super Bowl I saw a French film. I know that every once in a while I've made a post about baseball, or I may have regaled you with my theory on Chicago sports teams, but overall, it doesn't dominate my life.

But I am fucking excited for the Super Bowl this year! The Chicago Bears have made it in! Not only that, but the Colts are going, too! This means that my #1 and #2 teams are going to be playing one another for the championship. No matter who wins, I'll be happy. This is about as perfect a game for people in NW Indiana that I can think of. My dad and I have been talking about this game taking place for over two months now.

In short, for the next two weeks, I'll be thinking about this game. Hooray for sports!

posted by Christopher 1 comments 12:42 AM

 

OK mom, here's the deal. Yes, this blog is on the internet. Yes, everyone that wants to can read it. However, sometimes I will post things on here that I don't care if the whole world reads, but I don't want you looking at it. So, if I ask you not to look at a post, just respect my public privacy and skip it, cool? Thanks.

posted by Christopher 0 comments 1:54 AM

 

Fix That Sink

I was listening just now to 91.1 WRVU, & this song came on, some kind of disco-ey thing with soul vocals, perhaps a techno remix of one or several other songs. So first there was this whole long part where this guy keeps saying "I'm your fix-it man, here I stand, with my tool swingin' in my hand," over & over & over. He would also periodically offer to unclog drains, fix loose nuts & so forth. This went on for a while & then the song, which was stupendously long, commenced a new section narrated by a woman -- evidently the woman who needed the fix-it man, because she kept saying "fix that sink, fix that sink." Then during the chorus she starts going "fix it on the left, fix it on the right, fix it on the floor, fix that sink all night." I was like come on! I wrote a paper last semester about double entendres, but even if I had not, these ones would have seemed a trifle obvious. Finally (the song had a rudimentary narrative) the female narrator asks him to go upstairs, because her neighbor's sink needs fixing too, & "it won't be a long trip." What followed was a LONG instrumental break. Techno is so weird.

posted by Emily 0 comments 9:11 PM

 

Think One Person Can Sit on the Sofa, Eat Cereal, Listen to College Radio & Shop Online While Trying to Recover from a Bad Breakup? So Do I.

Having received a copy of the alumni magazine with a copy of Oberlin's new "viewbook" enclosed, I assume you all did as well, so I hereby open the floor up to discussion of said viewbook. Having opened the floor, I will make the following observations:

• The illustrations are tragically butt-ugly; I like the idea of having abstact graphics that would "pop" more than regular photos would, just not these particular ones. Actually the only ones that are really bad are the ones of people in groups being interracial. Sometimes the white writing on top of graphics becomes busy.
  
• So this new slogan "We are Oberlin: Fearless", is that, like, our new Oberlin slogan, or is it just our new recruiting slogan? Because it's kick-ass as hell. I would wear a t-shirt with that on it. I would choose it over the "think one person can, etc." motto quoted by me above at the top of this weblog entry. Yay for the focus groups who picked it out!
• How come the viewbook has one page each for inspiration verbiage about science, the con, social justice, athletics, & creative expression, but nothing for just regular old humanities (English/comp lit, history, classics, philosophy)? HELLO, THOSE THINGS ARE ACTUALLY IMPORTANT, especially atOberlin where people actually study them (instead of majoring in Business Communication like they do here at Vandy).
• Mysteriously, no mention is made of EXCO, the Flying Horsecows, or the fact thatif you go there you will be constantly importuned to make donations to the Living Machine.

Also, I was reading about Adrian Fenty, the new mayor of D.C., who as you probably know is an Oberlin graduate. Everything was going fine for me until about one sentence into the article, when I read that Fenty graduated in '92. Holy moly, that makes him only 10 years older than me! (Actually only 9, because Fenty is 35). & D.C. is the capital of the FREE WORLD! He is the youngest D.C. mayor in history, but that's no comfort to me. Fuck you, Fenty, you crazy overachiever!

posted by Emily 0 comments 1:43 AM

 

Right now, my life is just so "GAAAHHHHHHH!" Can't really talk about it now, but someday in the future, you'll read this post and say "Oh, yes, I guess it was."

posted by Christopher 1 comments 2:06 AM

 

I'm in Baltimore, visiting most of the guys from college. (Ben is not here, but that's it.) Typical guy stuff. Lots of drinking, lots of video games.

Today at lunch, someone made the observation that Kim Jong Il is the Paris Hilton of dictators.

posted by Christopher 0 comments 11:04 PM

 

Still a dream slut

A repeat offender! Yes, more sex dreams about me. And I had a huge cock.

posted by Christopher 1 comments 4:11 AM

 

One of My Favorite Things About My Kittens

Keep in mind that this is just one of many... anyway, I like it when they slide along the floor after trying to come to an abrupt halt. This usually happens when they are running for their food dished & realize that they are about to bump into the wall or the refrigerator (for those who don't know, I have two -- I don't mean to make it sound like there is a vast horde of them). They usually slide a good 6 inches, like a car skidding along on an icy day, except absolutely precious.

On a more sad note, my childhood cat Annie has become very sick with liver failure, & I got a call from my parents telling me they are (were) going to have her put to sleep this afternoon. R.I.P. Annie. She was a good cat, with beautiful green eyes, & I am told she was a good patient right up until the end. I was working on my papers & my mom was like "maybe we shouldn't tell you this now, if you're trying to get work done," but my question is, how does ANYBODY get work done in this world full of tragedies?

posted by Emily 0 comments 6:31 PM

 

I am a dream slut

One of my friends told me that a few weeks ago she had a "graphic" dream about the two of us. Then another friend told me that he had a dream he was in a club, and I tried to kiss him. Now he tells me today that his girlfriend had a dream that I was trying to get him to break up with her, presumably so that I could make out with him. Beware: if I'm in your dream, I'm gonna be trying to have sex with someone.

posted by Christopher 2 comments 9:18 PM

 

Things I did today

Taught class, got a paycheck
Deposited paycheck
Bought some cute shoes which were very expensive, but some people out there are spending $1500 on a Chanel carryall that looks like a garbage bag, compared to them I'm ver reasonable
Went back to sleep
Got a haircut
Watched some episodes of the American Office with my roommate

That's my life, in all its banal glory... mostly I just wanted to mention the garbage bag purse.

posted by Emily 0 comments 2:12 AM

 

Just when my faith in humanity is waning, these kids come along and make my heart smile.

posted by Christopher 2 comments 1:46 AM

 

I'm sorry.

I truly am sorry for what I am about to give you to watch. I can't help it though. When I saw it, all I could do was laugh in disbelief. If you've never seen dinosaur porn before, you're not alone. In case you didn't know, both of those links are Not Safe for Work. Enjoy.

posted by Christopher 0 comments 3:32 AM

 

A problem identified, a solution needed.

I went out with a few friends last night, and when we were making the plans, my friend's girlfriend told me to bring a girl out with me to dinner. I realized that I knew no single girls here in Washington. Not one. This may be either a cause or effect of wanting to do nothing but practice my drumset.


Only in Washington

It was raining out today, but that didn't stop a guy down the road from spraying his driveway with a hose.

posted by Christopher 0 comments 8:52 PM

 

Psychedelic Republicans

Need I say more?

posted by Emily 2 comments 8:11 PM

 

I was reading on Wendy's thing about Halloween costumes, & that reminded me that I was going to tell you about the costumes at the English dept. Halloween party. (This was at my friend's house & was just graduate students; we have ones with faculty twice a year but they're more stressful for all concerned.) I went as Iggy Pop but because the costume was so minimal (white t-shirt, black jeans & red eyeliner) I brought a copy of Soldier to help people recognize me. I thought I would be the only person who needed to bring a source, but since it was a party of graduate students, I wasn't; my friend Nicole who went as the lady from Grey Gardens also brough a picture. Other notable incidents are recorded below:

{My friend Donald went as Northrop Frye, in a 3-piece tweed suit.}
Someone: Are you Northrop Frye again?
Me: "Again"?
Donald: It's all I got.

Another friend, Dan, puzzlingly had pages from a book called Murderers Prefer Blondes stapled all over his clothes, & was wearing a long green cape.

Someone: Why is there a typewriter on the back of your cape?
Dan: It's an enigma machine.

Only in graduate school, people. (It turned out that Dan was a mystery wrapped in an enigma.) I also wanted to let you know that I hosted one of those Moveon.com phone calling parties. It was very tiring & lots of people hung up on us, but on the other hand, the other volunteers brought over lots of food that they left at my house, & I persuaded a guy to vote in like my last 10 minutes of calling. If you'd like to help, it's not too late to go to Moveon.org & sign up for a calling party; or you can just sign up to make calls from home.

posted by Emily 0 comments 7:39 PM

 

If you want to come over to my house and play the drums, let it be known that 11:10 is too late!

posted by Christopher 0 comments 2:40 AM

 

The post in which I let you know about the Navy

Ok, so this has been building up for a while, here it goes.

In the past month, I've been placed in charge of my division for weeks on end. Not really placed, but just told "Hey, you're in charge." And I'm tired. I'm tired of the Navy, and I'm tired of all the fucking petty people in the Navy who are "leaders," but only care about how to use the people under them to get advanced. I'm tired of unreasonable goals, and the people in charge who only see numbers, and not how much work it actually takes to make those numbers happen. I'm tired of people skating off while other people do all the work, and the people who work just get shit on more. I'm tired of every single damn job being priority #1. When you give me two jobs and I ask you which is more important, don't tell me that they're both the #1 job. Because then I'LL decide which one is more important.

When I came into the Nuclear Power program, they started with this indoctrination of being "the best." We were told over and over that we are the best that the Navy has, and that we, the people working on the plants, are the reason that we've never had a reactor accident. BULLSHIT. Everyday that I go into work, I see so many fuckjobs, so many people that do not give a shit, so much shoddy and shady work, that I know the only reason we have not had an accident is due to the AMAZING engineering done by the people that designed the plants. Seriously, if those engineers had not spent years thinking of everything that could go wrong, and how to make the plant self-stabilizing, shit would have gone down by now. A LOT of shit. Because there is no way that with the people we have working on stuff, it would have been OK.

Also, we were taught that we, as Nukes, are held to a "higher standard." Right. If you do one thing wrong in the plant and a khaki finds out, you are fucked. (Hope you have some other blueshirts around to help you cover it up before your Chief comes!) And all the way through the pipeline our tests were monitored so hard! Cheat, you are out; no longer a Nuke. But in the fleet? Fuck that! You know who grades my tests now? One of my friends. You know what he told me to do? Write as much stuff as I can so that it looks like I know what I'm talking about. I do not know half of what the tests are talking about, but I haven't failed in 4 months! This is the effective training that allows us to operate safely. Oh wait, see that last paragraph.

Our senior leadership. The captain? Loves to talk about "Operational Risk Management." Gives him a fucking hard-on. But drive around for two months with a leak in one of the reactor loops? OK! The CMC? Supposed to be the voice of the enlisted person to the captain. Right. Another way to say it is that he'll repeat whatever the captain says, and say it's a good deal for us. Our Reactor Officer? I don't really know yet. He's new. The old one was awesome (actually looked out for us), but I have a bad feeling about this new one.

Finally, the Abraham Lincoln. The ship itself. I feel bad for it sometimes. It gets ridden harder than any other damn carrier in the fleet. We've already used as much fuel as the carrier that was built 6 years before us. But all in all, it's paying us back for it. The damn ship does not want to stay together. Three vital things broke this last underway. Each time we said "Oh, this is it. We're going home." Nope. The CO tried to extend us. It's turning into a broke-dick ship that cannot continue to be run the way it is. Which is a shame, since by it's timeline it has to last 30+ more years.

What do I think is the root cause of all of this? Well I've had a lot of time to think about it, and I believe it comes down to one thing: ownership. People feel zero ownership for the places they work in. They have no pride in a job, and only a fear of negative reinforcement. (Sometimes, people even stop caring about that.) If you really don't care about it, why try and do good work, especially if you would get no recognition for it? Not only no recognition, but your supervisor gets complimented on it. With ownership, you strive to improve, you want to help out, you learn new things, and you enjoy your work.

I don't really know what I hoped to accomplish by writing all this. Venting? Hope that someone on the ship reads it and reevaluates things? (Not likely) Just know that the rose glasses have been shattered, and I'll be out in 6 years.

posted by Christopher 3 comments 4:34 AM